no chance harvey

nellie and i went and saw 'last chance harvey' on saturday night. it was only 1 hour 32 minutes long. which was about 45 minutes too long. it felt like it was 3 hours. that was probably due to the fact that i really had to go to the bathroom for most of it, but regardless, it never got good enough to the point that i forgot that my bladder was filled with sprite from that mediocre restaurant they call 'el torito.'

so this movie isn't a 'romantic comedy,' but merely a 'romantic movie.' there was little to no comedy for it to ever be put into a genre with comedy in the title. but you couldnt really term it just a drama because it wasnt drama, it was just boring. nellie really wanted to see it and even she couldnt find too much praise for it.

it has an 'all star' cast, but it wasnt enough to make the movie work. you have to love emma thompson. she is really incredible. she can always just start crying right there on screen and make you think she actually is sad about whats going on. i guess i shouldnt be too impressed though now that i live with a woman and i realize how easy and often tears can come. (that makes me sound like some abusive husband. honestly, im not. most of the time i havnt even done anything to make the tears come. im just standing there. i havnt even talked or said a word and im left speechless because there are tears, yet nothing has happened. but then suddenly they are gone and everything is back to normal and we are all happy. but why the tears then? not sure. not sure where they came from or where they went so quickly. just completely different wiring.)

the next problem with the cast was the lack of supporting characters. everyone knows that in romantic comedy (if that is what this is) that you have to have awesome supporting actors that lighten the mood and make you happy and provide a break from the love story drama. well, there werent any supporting actors in this movie. there was one girl that was alright and you could tell that it was her role to be that comedic relief and entertainment, but she was only ok. plus, she was rarely on screen and her character wasnt anything amazing or brilliant, it was only 'relief' because the rest of the movie was so slow and dull and just dragged.

and that was mainly because of this guy: dustin hoffman. who was i think playing the same guy he was in 'the graduate,' only now its 30 years later. he finished college. didnt want to work. carried on an affair with some neighbor. finally decided to get a job, or leave the neighbor because she was 40 years his senior and scary looking. went out and fulfilled his 'passion' by writing music, but never quite made it in the industry and ended up writing commercials. finally got married, but was a bad father and husband (probably because he spent so many years before he got married bucking the trend of responsibility by not working and carrying on the affair). now, for whatever reason we are supposed to care about this guy and that he has a happy life. no way. he's a loser. he is probably a nice guy, since he really isnt the same character he played in the graduate. but you would think he was because he still talks as slow...as...he...ever...has. he also still, well, you know, he, uh, well, he pauses...a lot, and um, well, you know, he uh, still sort of bumbles his words, just like he um, did in that one movie, you know, the uh, the uh (throat clear), the uh graduate. where he never really seemed to know what he wanted and was so insecure about stuff and so confused. just make a decision harvey or say something. but its hard to make a decision or profess your interest in someone when you know, you uh, have options over here and then over there and there are places to go here and then over there and uh, it just gets hard you know. yes, you know. well, hopefully you know. (its really hard to mimick someone speaking in writing. if you ever watch the movie, youll notice how slow and how long it takes him to get out each line).

anyways, there were probably other reasons this movie failed. maybe because no one really cares when two 60 year olds fall in love. not that im not happy for them, and i know that old people do exist and maybe even find love later in life, but its never exciting or something you want to watch, even when the story is fictional. its like 'the notebook' when the old couple starts making out. sick. i know it happens. thats great. i hope to make out with my wife when im sixty. but im sure no one would want to watch. and i dont care to show them. they dont make out in this movie. they dont get to that point. they just get to know each other and end it by letting you know that there is a chance they might get together and something might happen. an uneventful ending for an uneventful show. no chance, harvey.