Monday, April 23, 2007

seven things i thought about today

1. the jury finally returned its verdict today. for both women the jury agreed that the lapd did have a practice of discriminating against women, but only for one woman did the jury feel that the discrimination was the proximate cause of the woman's injuries/suffering. so one woman was awarded $1,000,000, and the other was awarded $0! which is so sad because it was a surefire case. the plaintiff's attorney was so incompetent. it would have been so easy to prove damages but he just failed to do so. the jury even admitted that they were pretty much positive that both women were injured, but the attorney just didnt provide any sort of evidence and they found themselves inferring facts. the one woman should sue the attorney for malpractice. seriously. he blew it.

2. my sister lindsey has a blog. here is the address: lindseysommer.blogspot.com i have other faithful readers that have blogs and once i figure out how to put links on my page ill be sure to post them for all to enjoy. lindsey talks about the reality tv girls she lived with. they sound like gems. great reality tv characters.

3. speaking of reality tv girls. i realized that yesterday i ripped on most all reality tv characters, which was the same day that i found out that my friend jessica bowlin is getting baptized. jessica bowlin was the girl that was selected in one of the 'bachelor' seasons. she is best friends with my good friend diana day, who also introduced her to the church. jessica is graduating from chapman law school this year and is actually very bright and one of the top people in her class. she is also going to work for the orange county district attorney's office after graduation, which is not an easy job to get. so i cant rip on all reality people and call them lame and ridiculous, since she disproves that. (she is taken by the way. just thought i should say it in advance before the dating suggestions start coming in.)

4. today i once again heard van halen's 'right now' on the radio while driving home. thats 3 times in the past week. im pretty sure that makes me the luckiest man east of hawaii. its amazing how a song can instantly make you happy and improve your whole day.

5. here is a completely random video my friend sent me the other day called 'charlie the unicorn.' i must warn that the video is strange and sort of sick and twisted. but ive thought about it a few times since ive watched it and everytime i think about the ending i laugh. after you watch it im sure you'll think im sick and twisted. oh well.

6. this one girl on one of those lds 'friends sites' sent me a random email and asked me if i wanted to be her friend. she is 21. the email was filled with misspelled words and on her profile as an occupation she says she is a 'cosmotologist/massage therapist/counsilour.' i have a personal rule in which i dont date cosmotologists or massage therapists. not that there is anything wrong with people that do these professions. i just have developed a stereotype with people pursuing these careers, and i dont really mesh with that stereotype, and i have yet to meet someone that doesnt fit the stereotype and would change my opinion. by principle im against anyone that declares themself a 'counsilour.' that is really how she spelled it on her profile. how could i ever take any sort of advice from her seriously when she says she is a counsilour. maybe she is british. anyways, do i need to be this girl's friend? is it too early to cast her off and out of my life? im already pretty positive she and i could barely maintain a friendship, let alone anything more than that, must i even be cordial and respond to her? is it even worth any sort of effort?

7. finally, my sister paige is having a baby and if its a boy, she wants to name it massimo, which means 'the best' in italian. i am completely in favor of this name. i think its a great name. plus, with that sort of name, he is destined for greatness (i refrained from saying being the best). but there really is so much to a name. people with certain names can only do certain things. thats why actors change their names, without an actor's name, most of them wouldnt be able to act. just imagine how bad a keanu reeves movie would be if he used his real name. good thing he changed it. now he can act. some names are universal, like brian or mike, if you have one of those names you can be anything from a plummer to a president. my friend met this guy named franchesco. he is a bell hop at a hotel. of course he is. when he was born and his parents gave him that name he was destined to be a bell hop or a chef. he could possibly peak as a cake builder or dress maker, but thats it. his parents set the ceiling there by giving him that name. but massimo. he is destined to be in some sort of profession where a stadium is chanting is name. like a gladiator or soccer player. both equally good employment. the sky is the limit with that name.


Sunday, April 22, 2007

the inferno

alright, so i really should come clean. ive pretty much been hiding something for a long time and i just dont like living this way. throughout the past year or so ive 'revealed' myself to some close friends that i have felt comfortable with, but i havnt really just come out and declared it to everyone. and i really should since, when i think about it, this is who i am, and what im all about, and i should be ashamed of that.

i watch 'real world/road rules challenge' on mtv and i like it.

i really do. i know that it is crap reality tv. i know its incredibly cheezy. i realize, thanks to lindsey, that most of the show is probably staged.* but for some reason i still like it. and i think i should finally just come to terms with it and not be so ashamed. so how did i come to like the show? well, a few years ago i had two roommates, for anonymity purposes we will call them mave exelgard and dorgan aldridge. mave likes apple computers and dorgan is a crazy good athlete. anyways, both of them also liked real world/road rules challenge. but i actually never watched the show with them. i would watch parts of some episodes and i found it midly entertaining, nothing incredible, but i wasnt turned off from the show. well, last year, one fateful saturday afternoon, i found myself alone at home browsing through the tube when an episode came on. i watched. i enjoyed. i followed. i hid in shame. but no longer.

so i have decided to come out with this and come to terms with it and quit being ashamed because i realized that 1. all reality shows are equally pathetic and 2. everyone likes at least one show. im sure that plenty of people will mock me for liking this show then turn around and watch 'i love new york' or 'america's next top model.' and ill mock them for liking those shows.

its easy to mock because each and every reality show has so many elements to it that should make an average human being throw up all over themselves. most reality shows are fun to watch with a group of people because you can all sit around and comment on how ridiculous the people are. for instance: this season of 'the inferno' is set in south africa. in the opening credits the cast runs through some cgi grassland, and at the end stop and stare at the camera in their best (and by best i mean sexiest and skimpiest) camo gear. clearly demonstrating that they are suited and ready for warfare. i can hardly hold down my reflux. but its almost as if that reflux is what makes reality tv so enjoyable. if i didnt get the reflux i would be concerned. strange.

so like most reality tv, the premise of the show is very complicated. old cast members from mtv's real world and road rules (2 reality tv shows) are brought together, put on an exotic location and they compete in different team challenges. the winning team gets money. also at the end of each episode two people from each team square off in the inferno with the losing person being sent home. but most of the show is comprised of the competitions. they show a little bit of the people hanging out at their house at night and inevitably there is some drama, but not too much and the show isnt based around these people just sitting around talking about who can drink the most alcohol and who can be the first to find a reason to have to take off their clothes and get in the hot tub - like the real world. so its mostly competition, with a small amount of drama thrown in.

but the details of the show dont really matter. they never really do with reality tv. because all reality tv is pretty much crap. its all filled with lame drama and people just trying to get noticed and be in front of a tv camera. or the people are just losers and they are put on the show so that we can laugh at the fact that they are losers and feel that we are better than they are and thus be drawn to the show because we have a feeling of superiority. by the way, i am not by any means endorsing or trying to sell this show. im embarassed to recommend it to anyone. im sure that if you watched it you would think less of me and never read anything i ever wrote again - just me posting this is probably making that happen. of course, if you do watch it by your own free will and choice, i welcome your commentaries as i am happy to send you my commentaries about the reality tv show of your choice.

anyways, i better end this since i feel like im rambling and im not really sure where im headed with any of my thoughts. i mainly just wanted to make this announcement and now that im trying to express myself i realize i dont know exactly how i feel about all of this and im starting to get confused again about who i really am. and its taken me so long to get here that im just not prepared to go back. at least not until this season is over.



*for any that were unaware. my sister lindsey happened to live with 3 girls that are on the reality show 'paradise city.' the show is TERRIBLE. lindsey has a cameo on the first episode. but lindsey, now with firsthand reality experience, informed me that the show is almost all completely staged. not that im surprised by that after watching an episode. but i now have to assume, that all are at least in part staged.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

ah, new york

so it was a great weekend. earlier this week i was hanging out with some friends and preparing to watch '24.' before the show started, my friend sara said, 'hey, if anyone wants to go to new york this weekend, i can fly you there for free with a buddy pass.' i immediately looked over at her as i have an interest in new york and even more of an interest in free trips. however, no one really responded, so i figured that either, a: no one heard her, or b: she didnt really say anything and i was just hearing things. but then her brother spoke up and said, 'yeah, sara has to fly out there for a work meeting (she works for jet blue) and she has a bunch of buddy passes she has to use, i'm going to go and anyone else that wants to go is invited.' still, no one said a word. i already had doubts about the crowd as they are all WAY too into the show 24, but now i was completely dumbfounded and embarassed to be in the same house as them (they honestly talk about how its good to watch the show because jack teaches valuable lessons on how to get out of certain situations and defend yourself. they eat up the show like its reality. and what sorts of lessons does jack bauer actually teach? he only has one lesson: whenever you are in a hostage situation, no wait, scratch that, whenever you are threatened in any way, by any person, in any situation, find the nearest object and use it to murder the person). anyways, i finally spoke up and said, 'um....yeah....i dont know if youre serious, nor do i know what exactly i have going on this weekend, but, um, if you really are giving away flights to new york, uh.....i'll have one.' 'ok great,' said the brother. and just like that i was off to new york.

so it was a crazy weekend and really short. we had to fly standby. we flew out friday morning and got into new york around 5 pm. we were planning on leaving sunday late afternoon but because of the extremely bad weather that hit the east coast, we had to try and catch the early flight out on sunday. which meant getting up at 4:30 am on sunday morning and heading to the airport. luckily, i did make it on the flight and wasnt stranded in new york for a few days - which is nice because i do have to get back to work and study for my final. although, if i had to be stranded anywhere, i think i would want it to be new york. i was fully prepared to just head over to columbia or nyu all day, check out a law book and study for my final all day, maybe see a show in the evening, go to bed and then repeat until i could get out of the city. not really my idea of a bad time. in fact, it sounds like a great week. part of me was actually hoping to be stranded. but probably for the better, i made it out.

but, ah, new york. my friend karl described it best when he said: 'you [new york] make me feel poor, ugly, unintelligent and untalented.' so true. yet somehow i am still completely drawn to the place. i felt completely inferior, overwhelmed and intimidated all at the same time and then instantly incredibly desirious to try and conquer the city and sure that i would stay there and die trying until i did. so weird that it does that. i kept wondering if i could transfer out there for my final year of school. it was a short, fantastic time. and we didnt even do anything 'spectacular.' but the place has a way of somehow grabbing you and sucking you in. its indescribable. we went on a walk through central park on saturday, and went to a movie and a comedy club. stanard activities that one can do in most places, yet they by no means felt standard. did i enjoy it so much because it wasnt everyday southern california, or was it the company, or was it just because it was new york? friday night for instance we played pool. i realized im a terrible pool player. just horrible. i kept on losing. yet it was still so fun. part of me actually wanted to keep losing and in a way hoped that i would continue losing and that we could play all night. i left a pool hall wanting more and regretting i didnt play a little more, and even lose a few more games. it was a great time. playing pool! how can a city do that? was it the city? or something else....? ah, new york.

Friday, April 13, 2007

summertime....and the livin's easy

or at least it should be. right? isnt that what its for? thats what brad nowell said, and he turned out alright. so the other day, i got a summer internship/associate position with the law firm bremer, whyte, brown & o'meara, which im really happy about. as i said earlier, i really dont think i want to do civil litigation, but if i ever did, it would be with a firm like this one. so while i am happy about this job, one of my immediate thoughts was that now i cant be a bum all summer. when i mentioned this to my friend, she said that there is always a dark cloud hanging over my head. at first i was offended and wanted to remind her that she is a lost cause and that the dark cloud is better than being filled with sleet, like her. but then i was actually flattered. because while she may view it as a dark cloud, i think of it as a natural, innate ability that i possess to view every situation from many different angles and notice all of the good and bad from certain events, thus qualifying me to be a top notch attorney. so i am justified in having mixed emotions. and i think that my emotions come from the two people fighting for supremacy inside of me.

the first one we can call ron. ron is very stable. traditional. constant. conservative. this job is good because it will be a great opportunity to work all summer and then prove myself to this firm and hopefully receive a full time offer at the end of the summer and graduate school and enter the workforce and just start entering the machine and churning out stuff for the rest of my life. the ron part of me is happy because this is why i go to law school - to get a job. job = work. work = why im here on earth.

but there is another guy inside of me. we can call him ron jon. ron jon's first thought when hearing about the job was, 'well, why did you even bother to move to that house in huntington then? you disappoint me.' (zach attack and i are moving to huntington by the way. the picture is our new location. we signed up for this place the day before finding out about the job. we chose this one because it is only 30 yards from the sand, unlike the another one we looked at that was much nicer, but farther from the ocean). ron jon likes to travel. ron jon was hoping not to get a job this summer and spend student loan money on going to fenway park and wrigley field. ron jon enjoys that every few months money just shows up in my bank account and doesnt think about the fact that i will need to pay it back someday. ron jon is really care free. ron jon is getting scuba certified this summer. he is buying a surf board. ron jon is also very single.

so is there a dark cloud over me? yeah probably. i really should just celebrate having a job. its really great. i dont want to be that negative half-empty glass type of guy. i really do want to make money and i do feel good when i accomplish things that a ron lifestyle has to offer. so i know its a good thing. i realize that i can stick with ron and that probably through ron i will be able to eventually live more of a ron jon lifestyle. so i know i should go with ron for now. its jus that ron jon is so tempting sometimes. i should end this before he becomes too tempting. he is currently formulating a great plan involving future student loan money, the lottery and something about possibly never having to work again.....im listening....

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

mean girls


well, it should actually be mean boys. right now there is a trial going on for judge hatter. a few lapd women officers are suing the lapd for sexual harassment. it has been really interesting. id really love to discuss how incredibly incompetent the lawyers have been, but we technically arent supposed to discuss anything until the trial is over. so ill give more commentaries later. but something did come up the other day that was highly entertaining and made me think of the movie 'mean girls' (which really is an outstanding movie). it was one of those times where people clarify something for you when the clarification probably wasnt necessary. one of those 'thanks for that' moments.

mean girls:
cady: why would she do that?

janis: because she's a life ruiner.....she ruins lives.

court:
lawyer: and what was your position there?

witness: i was an accident investigator.....i investigated accidents.

-thanks for that

Friday, April 6, 2007

a letter

rite aid, k-mart and warehouse:

hey guys, its me kent. remember me. from the early 90's. we used to hang out quite a bit. i know, its been awhile. sorry. i've been busy and stuff. well, thats not really a legitimate excuse. i could have been better and made more time to see you. but its not like you guys have been easy to find or anything. you guys are hardly around anymore. i rarely even run into you guys. i did run into rite aid the other day and thats what sort of inspired me to get back in touch.


so i went into rite aid the other day because i needed to buy some notecards. now i know times have been tough on you guys. what with cvs pharmacy, target and the world wide web coming around. (note: most of this letter is directed to rite aid and k-mart. sorry warehouse. its just that, youre just kinda...well...screwed. cause as long as there are people like my brother in law out there, that buys his music from russian warlords or some other random group and then gives it to me, well, ill never buy another cd again. sorry. and even if i did buy it, i'd probably just buy it off of itunes. sorry again. dang. youre a lost cause). and i know sometimes tough times require having to make cutbacks perhaps or be frugal in some areas, but i feel like the first cutback or layoff that was made with you guys was the design team and the shelf organizers. you probably thought that its more important to have people at the cash registers than cleaning and stocking the shelves. well, no one is going to get to the register if they are stepping in gum and cant even find what the heck they are looking for. seriously, its like a zoo. normally i would walk to the notecard section and if there wasnt any on the shelves i would just assume you were out, maybe ask someone, get some ice cream and go on my merry way. but when the aisle looks like a clan of trolls just ran down it and when there is packages of super glue and crayons where the sign says there should be notecards, then i cant assume you are out, but i have to assume that the cards might be somewhere else. so i stand in the aisle looking in the white out or thumb tack section for notecards. but of course they arent there. now im agitated and stabbing my fingers with the tacks. im searching all over for these stupid cards, tripping over boxes and finding nothing. and by the way, putting the boxes of supplies in the aisle doesnt constitute re-stocking. its better than not having it, but if i wanted to sort through random supply boxes i would just go to costco. plus, i feel weird rummaging through the boxes. its just strange when someone comes around the corner into the aisle and im rummaging through the stock boxes and im clearly not an employee. i feel like a raccoon or something. i rummage slower with one eye watching the person as they walk by awkwardly looking back at me. i feel like ive been caught or im in trouble or something, but im just looking for notecards. but i dont find any in the boxes. they are full of 'day runners' and other planners and calendars. seriously, those things are dated. you only need to order about a third as many next year. there is a reason they are the only thing left on the shelves. now rite aid, at least you have stock boxes....k-mart. seriously, when was the last time you received a dvd shipment? your shelves are barren. and last time i think i saw some vhs tapes. videos? really?

so now im leaving. and im frustrated so i dont even get ice cream. it was too chaotic. and im thinking to myself that i would have been better off just going to the dollar store. i know thats harsh. usually i only go to the dollar store when i need a rubber mallet or the children's coloring book, 'gary spotter and the medicine man's boulder.' but really, without people organizing the layout of the store and properly stocking the stores, there is no rhyme or reason to anything in there and it's a burden. so what did i do? i went to a cvs pharmacy. i figured since there is one every square mile i had to be close to one, and sure enough, one was literally across the street. it was clean. there was a big sign telling me where school supplies were and it was really organized. it was so easy and i was so happy when i went to the check out i bought a watchamacallit bar, which really added to the already pleasant experience.

anyways, im not saying we wont ever hang out again, but we probably wont. you guys just arent changing and, well, i've moved on. i don't know that we have anything to offer each other. well, i do have cash to offer. seriously though, hire some illegal immigrants to clean the store, fire rosie o'donnel and bring on more people to stock and organize the store hourly and then maybe we'll meet up again. until then, sorry. no hard feelings? see you when the first relative dies.

kent

Monday, April 2, 2007

whatchamacallit



a pretty dang good candy bar, thats what. totally underrated and underappreciated. get yourself one next time you are at the store and if youre not satisfied (and by satisfied i mean not throwing up before you finish the bar) then i will reimburse you your 60 cents and buy you a snickers or some other candy bar you have been eating youre whole life - you boring, unoriginal imp.

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