a letter

rite aid, k-mart and warehouse:

hey guys, its me kent. remember me. from the early 90's. we used to hang out quite a bit. i know, its been awhile. sorry. i've been busy and stuff. well, thats not really a legitimate excuse. i could have been better and made more time to see you. but its not like you guys have been easy to find or anything. you guys are hardly around anymore. i rarely even run into you guys. i did run into rite aid the other day and thats what sort of inspired me to get back in touch.

so i went into rite aid the other day because i needed to buy some notecards. now i know times have been tough on you guys. what with cvs pharmacy, target and the world wide web coming around. (note: most of this letter is directed to rite aid and k-mart. sorry warehouse. its just that, youre just kinda...well...screwed. cause as long as there are people like my brother in law out there, that buys his music from russian warlords or some other random group and then gives it to me, well, ill never buy another cd again. sorry. and even if i did buy it, i'd probably just buy it off of itunes. sorry again. dang. youre a lost cause). and i know sometimes tough times require having to make cutbacks perhaps or be frugal in some areas, but i feel like the first cutback or layoff that was made with you guys was the design team and the shelf organizers. you probably thought that its more important to have people at the cash registers than cleaning and stocking the shelves. well, no one is going to get to the register if they are stepping in gum and cant even find what the heck they are looking for. seriously, its like a zoo. normally i would walk to the notecard section and if there wasnt any on the shelves i would just assume you were out, maybe ask someone, get some ice cream and go on my merry way. but when the aisle looks like a clan of trolls just ran down it and when there is packages of super glue and crayons where the sign says there should be notecards, then i cant assume you are out, but i have to assume that the cards might be somewhere else. so i stand in the aisle looking in the white out or thumb tack section for notecards. but of course they arent there. now im agitated and stabbing my fingers with the tacks. im searching all over for these stupid cards, tripping over boxes and finding nothing. and by the way, putting the boxes of supplies in the aisle doesnt constitute re-stocking. its better than not having it, but if i wanted to sort through random supply boxes i would just go to costco. plus, i feel weird rummaging through the boxes. its just strange when someone comes around the corner into the aisle and im rummaging through the stock boxes and im clearly not an employee. i feel like a raccoon or something. i rummage slower with one eye watching the person as they walk by awkwardly looking back at me. i feel like ive been caught or im in trouble or something, but im just looking for notecards. but i dont find any in the boxes. they are full of 'day runners' and other planners and calendars. seriously, those things are dated. you only need to order about a third as many next year. there is a reason they are the only thing left on the shelves. now rite aid, at least you have stock boxes....k-mart. seriously, when was the last time you received a dvd shipment? your shelves are barren. and last time i think i saw some vhs tapes. videos? really?

so now im leaving. and im frustrated so i dont even get ice cream. it was too chaotic. and im thinking to myself that i would have been better off just going to the dollar store. i know thats harsh. usually i only go to the dollar store when i need a rubber mallet or the children's coloring book, 'gary spotter and the medicine man's boulder.' but really, without people organizing the layout of the store and properly stocking the stores, there is no rhyme or reason to anything in there and it's a burden. so what did i do? i went to a cvs pharmacy. i figured since there is one every square mile i had to be close to one, and sure enough, one was literally across the street. it was clean. there was a big sign telling me where school supplies were and it was really organized. it was so easy and i was so happy when i went to the check out i bought a watchamacallit bar, which really added to the already pleasant experience.

anyways, im not saying we wont ever hang out again, but we probably wont. you guys just arent changing and, well, i've moved on. i don't know that we have anything to offer each other. well, i do have cash to offer. seriously though, hire some illegal immigrants to clean the store, fire rosie o'donnel and bring on more people to stock and organize the store hourly and then maybe we'll meet up again. until then, sorry. no hard feelings? see you when the first relative dies.

kent