a cheese dome?

so nellie and i are engaged.  im assuming most readers know that since most readers are friends or family.  if you arent one of those then you probably dont know that, but i probably dont know you, so i dont really care that you know that.  (hopefully that didnt drive away any friends that really didnt know.  sorry if you didnt know.  im engaged).  anyways, i am studying for the bar right now which has excused me from a lot of the wedding planning.  which is really great in my opinion.  not that i wouldnt be happy to participate, but i frankly dont care about a lot of things so i dont really have an opinion to give.  i think nellie is beginning to realize that.  she asked me today what type of bedding i wanted.  really?  bedding?  i know i should care and i want to, but arent we asleep with our eyes closed when we are in the bed? (insert obligatory newlywed sex joke...then say to yourself, 'zing!') its our bedroom, so its not like a family room or living area, so if you want flowers, whatever.  again, maybe i should care, but i dont find it something to fuss about.  im man enough to sleep in flowers.  again, my eyes are closed.  you may feel like a tough guy because you have pittsburg steelers sheets on your bed, but at the end of the day (pun intended), my flowers sheets get the job done just as well as your tough guy steelers sheets.  

another reason that its probably a good thing that im not participating in the wedding planning is because there would be serious conflicts when it came time to registering.  i havnt had time to do it so she just does it and its really for the better.  today we stopped by crate and barrel and she showed me some of the things she registered for....and it was ridiculous.  the problem is that the store owners give these ladies a gun and they just walk around and 'shoot' all the items they want.  the other problem is that these ladies are walking around without men so they have no rational thoughts running through their brains.  for instance, nellie registered for a cheese dome.  a cheese dome?  what is a cheese dome?  its a piece of wood with a dome shaped piece of glass on top of it to preserve your cheese...for when you set it out on the counter for an extended period of time with the purpose of having it mold faster than it already does?  i dont get it.  when do you use a cheese dome?  its for parties says nellie.  and for the holidays.  great.  we get a gift that we only use once a year.  someone is going to spend $25 bucks on us and its blown on something we might use every christmas to help our cheese mold faster.  awesome.  

other choice items included a fondue machine.  granted, fondue is great.  can be fun.  the rational part thinks though, thats a lot of money.  how often are we going to be using this thing?  wouldnt we rather have someone spend that much money and buy us something we might use more than once every decade?  its for parties says nellie.  oh.  of course.  we also registered for three cups that are connected in the middle with a handle.  'it could be useful for serving hummus,' says nellie.  i dont even know how to respond to that.  

also on the registery is a dessert serving platter.  basically its three plates that are connected with the largest one on the bottom and the smallest one on the top.  everyone has seen these.  purpose?  none in my opinion. you can accomplish the same thing with three regular, unattached plates.  but it also has a purpose apparently.  its for parties says nellie.  of course.  another party.  as it is, we throw them nightly, we will need this. 

and of course, my all time favorite of the day:  the pancake warmer.  purpose?  to warm pancakes.  times in the history of man one has really ever been needed?  zero.

so here is the real problem with this stuff.  i know we will get it.  why?  because im a guy and i would buy it for other couples.  girls are going to take other guys with them to buy a wedding gift. the guy will already be bugged that he has to spend money on someone else and that its spent on lame kitchen items.  they will go into the store and get the list of items on our registery.  they will look over the items and the guy wont see anything 'normal' or 'practical,' he will automatically find all the random junk that he knows the couple doesnt need and insist on buying it.  why?  because its funny.  because hes a logical thinker and he knows that no one really needs a pancake warmer.  but it makes him laugh to buy it and 'hey, they registered for it.  if they didnt need it, they shouldnt have registered for it.  but they did, so clearly they want it, so im getting it for them.  i could get them forks, or spoons, or anything that people actually use, but they (she) registered for this, so we are buying it.'  then he laughs all the way to the reception.  which is fine.  im pumped to get all of this stuff.  it just means we will be throwing the sweetest fondue, hummus and cheese parties this town has ever seen and youre all invited.  and dont worry if you have to come late, the pancakes will still be warm.  

the gas man

so im currently living without electricity or gas.  well, not entirely without electricity.  somehow we are pirating electricity right now.  im living in my grandma's old house. she passed away a little over a year ago.  her house was almost in the exact same state as when it was bought in the 1950s.  no garbage disposal.  no washing machine.  all the same plumbing.  a purple bedroom.  that wasnt the same as when it was bought.  at least i hope not unless it meant the house was a few thousand dollars cheaper.  (note:  purple room means all purple.  walls, window sills, ceiling, doors, door jams, door knobs.  yes.  door knobs.  anything that wasnt carpet in that room was purple.  awesome).  

anyways, in march my dad and i were tearing out the cabinets in the kitchen when we started to smell smoke.  something smelled like it was burning.  we felt the walls around where we took out the cabinets and they were really hot, especially next to the water heater.  yes, for whatever strange reason, the water heater was in the kitchen.  right next to the fridge and the sink.  not covered either.  just right there in the corner.  hanging out being aesthetically pleasing for everyone.  anyways, we took out the water heater out and the area didnt cool off.  so we called the fire department.  four fire trucks and 8-10 firemen later, the kitchen was missing  a wall needed new electrical wiring.  so in the matter of a few minutes, the house no longer had hot water nor electricity.  

my roommate zach and i moved in a few weeks ago.  mainly to get out of our house that had 8 guys living in it, and so that i could escape for a couple months to study for the bar.  it was anticipated that there would be hot water and electricity by the time we moved in, but there have been so many improvements going on in the house, that as important as those things sound, there were other, more important things going on.  plus, the water heater needed to be installed outside with a shed built around it, and that isnt as easy as just buying a new one and putting it where the old one was.  and the electricity, well, when you are dealing with an insurance hired electrician, you can expect delays.  delays of a month?  sure, never underestimate insurance companies and how long they can take.  youre getting the work for 'free.'  you cant complain about how long it is taking.  plus, the electrician somehow stripped an extension chord and wired it into the wire on the roof, so that gives us electricity.  we just run a power strip from that and send extension chords through the house and use lamps for light.  better than nothing.  im not sure where the electricity is coming from since edison hasnt come by to turn on the box outside.  its a time in my life where i really feel like i can plead ignorance.  im an idiot when it comes to most home repairs so electrical stuff would be like someone speaking to me in finnish.  all i know is that an orange extension chord comes off our roof and it has a live current in it, so i use it.  

well, friday was supposed to be the big day.  the gas man was coming over.  we had our heater installed and covered.  they could have come earlier that week but no day really worked for my roommate or i.  but friday was the day.  the last of the cold showers.  which are so terrible.  im sure there are many people out there that are like, 'suck it up.  i took cold showers for 2 years on my mission.'  well, i didnt.  im sorry you went to some broke country, but i went to spain.  we had hot water.  (i actually ironically lived in an apartment that had a broken water heater and i did have to take cold showers for a couple months, but that doesnt help me right now).  plus, just because you may have showered in cold water doesnt mean you liked it.  perhaps you got used to it, but no one, if they had the choice would shower in cold water every morning instead of hot water.  i know you didnt get home and shower in cold water just because you were used to it and wanted to remember the mission. if you did, then im also sure you showed girls pictures of your mission on all your dates.  always a smooth move.  the babes love it.  plus, im living in long beach california.  if i was in hondorus, i wouldnt complain.  id be happy with water period.  or plumbing, no matter what decade it was from. but i guess im not a tough guy because i havnt grown to love the cold shower and i was happy for friday to come.  the city, like all lame entities, told us that they would come by sometime in the morning between 7 am and noon.  thanks jerks.  i find it impossible to believe that you cant give us a better estimate of when you will come.  impossible.  but its fine.  i agreed to watch my bar prep class online and wait at home.  

so i set my alarm for 7 am friday morning.  i didnt jump out of bed, but actually rolled out of bed at 7:15.  i went out front to take the trash cans in and to my horror i saw a white piece of paper on the door explaining that the gas people from the city had come by at 7:05, probably knocked once, no one came in 10 seconds so they split.  that, or they banged on the door, but i didnt hear them because i was lazily lying in bed.  but they are the bad guys in this blog, so they get the blame.  either way, i couldnt believe that of all the appointments that day, i was first on the list.  they tell me to be sure to set aside 5 hours of my day, and then they stop by in the first 5 minutes of those 5 hours.  and i missed them.  so i called them immediately and said that i didnt hear them and asked if they could come back.  the guy said they couldnt and that i would have to reschedule.  which i find hard to believe.  we are in long beach.  are there really so many people living without gas in this city that their mornings and afternoons are completely booked all day, every day?  could they really not come back?  plus, i know that their friday morning wasnt booked because one of their customers, me, 'wasnt home' when they stopped by.  so that freed up some time.  i mean, was there such a long wait list that someone was bumped into my spot immediately?  when i asked him when they could come back he said they had an opening on monday morning.  oh really?  you have spots open on the next available work day, but somehow your current work day, a friday, is entirely booked?  amazing.  such bad luck for these long beach city workers.  all of the thousands of people living without gas in this city scheduled on friday.  crazy how that works sometimes. so i had no choice and rescheduled for monday and committed myself to 3 more cold showers.  the electrician didnt come either.  that was probably expected though.  he probably just didnt want to.  no need.  as though the insurance company is breathing down his neck to provide prompt assistance to their customers.  they defined the term delay.  but its fine, we have our power strips and extension chords.  its not that bad. i should probably end this and cool off with a cold shower or something before i get too riled up about it.  good thing i live in honduras.  

on my mind

so there are a couple things that i keep on thinking about and keep popping back in my mind. one of them is the indiana jones movie. im going to spoil some of it at the end of this post.  if you havnt seen it, you should probably just wait for it to come out on dvd.  either way, if you dont want it to be spoiled, that was your warning.

1. the new coldplay song 'viva la vida.' its a great song. it really is. one of those instant classics for me. right when i heard it, i enjoyed it. it has great lyrics. it has an orchestra which is always a classy touch. it give the song a fuller sound and fools you into thinking that these people listen to classical music. so its a great song, but i cant remember the last time i heard a song that got so stuck in my head. its amazing. and this isnt your typical you hear a pop song on the radio and it gets stuck in your head for the next 6 hours, like your typical spice girls song. this song has been in my head since the first time i heard it. which is completely terrible since its not some lame song like 'my humps' or 'california love.'  but literally days of it resonating in my head.  

2. a few weeks ago driving home from san francisco, nellie and i got into a heated discussion about female rock bands or female lead singers. she thinks that the greatest female performer/singer of all time in bjork with hillary duff coming in a close second; and that the best female band ever is 'swv' (sisters with voices). anyways, somehow in the conversation we started discussing rock bands with female lead singers and we brought up 'no doubt.' we couldnt think of many other bands that were bigger than 'no doubt.' which sounds and is kinda surprising. there are many other bands. the pretenders. dire straits. the go-go's. i mean, its definitely a debate, but it was just random realizing that 'no doubt' would have to be in the discussion.  think about it.  rock bands with female lead singers.  i might be totally off on this one.  but i think that if you think about it for a bit, youll realize, whether you like them or not, no doubt has to be in the discussion.  that first album was HUGE.  not that it really matters at all. as im writing this im getting kinda bored and realizing that this topic is really only interesting after you have been sitting in a car for hours and your brain and butt are going numb.

3. ok. indiana jones. heres the thing. it wasnt a bad movie. it wasnt like godzilla or hollywood homicide.  i didnt get out of it thinking that i wasted money and upset that i went. but it wasnt a good movie. it was completely neutral. just plain vanilla ice cream. ice cream is always good. you cant really ever get upset about ice cream. but you dont get too excited about it or go brag to people afterwards that you had vanilla ice cream and recommend that everyone go eat a tub right here and now. but the most upsetting part was that it wouldnt have been that hard to make it into a decent movie. i think my friend dave described it well when he said that it felt like everyone was mailing it in. and its true. i wonder if speilberg even wanted to direct it or if the studio just came to him and said that they would give him $30 million if he would do it knowing that they could just put a harrison ford corpse on the screen for an hour and half and throw in that it was done by speilberg that it would make at least $100 million. and it has. but speilberg is good. he's proven it. he doesnt need this movie. he probably has many other things he would rather do, but for the right price will do what the masses want. who wouldnt? but harrison ford. he hasnt been doing anything lately besides sitting around helping his girlfriend get skinnier. i dont know why he didnt care to put much more effort into it.

anyways, here are just some quick things that i think they could have improved or done without that would have easily made it into a good movie and not just an, 'eh, whatever' movie. 

the opening sequence: i know that most movies are filmed in a large warehouse/set somewhere in hollywood, but at least try and make it seem like you are 'on location' somewhere.  they mailed it in by saying, 'you know, we are currently standing in a large warehouse.  how about we start the movie with indiana in a large warehouse where he is looking for a box.  that way we wont have to do any set design.  plus, boxes are real easy to find.  they have them all over in alleys behind grocery stores.  we can just stamp them with us army words and phrases and fool people into thinking we are in an actual military warehouse.  oh that audience.  so foolish.'

the atomic bomb.  really?  why?  i know that all indiana jones movies have a 'fast' opening with lots of action.  but again, its like they couldnt come up with anything so they said, 'how about he sits in a fridge and escapes an atomic bomb?'  made no sense.  did nothing to further the movie.  wasnt really suspenseful.  plus he evaded an atomic bomb by hopping in a fridge!  come on.  

i said this in the earlier post, but the only redeeming or quality part of the movie was the initial interaction with harrison ford and shiloa imbuff.  they had great chemistry.  it was fun.  they were explaining the plot.  which was sort of strange and hard to follow later.  but they had a fun chase scene.  a good fight and it was well done and exciting.  by far the best part.  i honestly do hope that if there is a next indiana that shia takes over the lead role because he will put forth more effort and that harrison ford has more of a supporting role.  i think it could be good.

for some reason they go to peru (its really not explained well at all and youre not even sure whats going on there) and for whatever reason random monkey guys attack them and then they hit them with a shovel and the monkeymen leave forever and never return.  no idea where they came from or who they are or where they went.  you spend most of the time wondering what's going on and then they kill them and move on with the story.  really random and puzzling.  pretty stupid too and a weak effort at having some suspense or excitement.  

swinging in the trees with the monkeys.  really?  no really?  swinging with monkeys?  on vines.  from tree to tree until you catch up to the cars.  really?  someone wrote this into the script and then 20 other people approved it?  at no point did anyone think that by putting it in the movie you would lose half your audience?  swinging with monkeys.  really?  the problem with computer animation is that movies can do crap like this and get away with it.  before, the writers and directors would have been forced into using their brains and coming up with some sort of logical, conceivable way to have shia meet back up with everyone besides having him swing there with monkeys!  unbelievable.  and i know that indiana jones is sort of like james bond where he is kinda invincible so he can do otherwise unrealistic things, like being dragged on the ground from the back of a truck.  but swinging with monkeys?  a new low.  (this was the part that really lost nellie.  we saw the midnight showing which she really didnt want to see because she was tired.  i told her that it would be fun and that its things like this that she will fondly remember someday because we wont always be youthful and able to do midnight movies.  she didnt really buy the cheap sales pitch. either way, she came and really started laughing at this part and how ridiculous it was.  she then punched me in the throat as a reminder that she was bitter that i dragged her out of bed for such a quality flick).

but that was the tone of the movie.  not much thought.  mailing it in.  sorry dave for stealing your descriptive word.  but its true.  the waterfall?  come on.  again, a little effort would have made it a good movie.  im fine if they go off the first one.  its conceivable that they might survive.  but all they would have had to do is for someone to say something blatantly obvious like, 'hey, if we go off that next one, there are rocks at the bottom and we will die.  we better figure something out.  we dont want to die.'  and then for indiana to get out his whip, break off the doors of the car, and then they all use them like wakeboards or something and float to the side of the river.  i know thats bad.  but its better than just going off the giant waterfall and pretending they would live.  

anyways, im going off too much about this movie and its not necessary.  just lots of little things that could have made it good.  not trying hard.  like using the snake as a rope to help indiana out.  remember how indiana hates snakes?  so they have to use one somewhere.  its obligatory.  this is an easy way to do it.  everyone will laugh because it makes sense to use a snake as a rope.  plus, its funny.  remember, indiana doesnt like snakes.  he wont want to grab it.  my stomach hurts just thinking about it.  so brilliantly funny.  

well, at some point the movie ends with some lame message about how the sacred treasure is actually knowledge.  oooohhh.  deep.  the aliens didnt seek after killing us.  they just wanted knowledge.  knowledge was their treasure.  knowledge is power.  thanks.  i wish i would have know that before the movie because my treasure is money.  and i lost $20 bucks of it on this movie which didnt give me any knowledge, but if anything, just made me feel stupid that i spent money on a movie that knew i would spend money on it because it had indiana jones in the title.  dang.  fooled again.  hi nikki brown harris.  pre-ceptions rule.  tell your cousin.