the gas man

so im currently living without electricity or gas.  well, not entirely without electricity.  somehow we are pirating electricity right now.  im living in my grandma's old house. she passed away a little over a year ago.  her house was almost in the exact same state as when it was bought in the 1950s.  no garbage disposal.  no washing machine.  all the same plumbing.  a purple bedroom.  that wasnt the same as when it was bought.  at least i hope not unless it meant the house was a few thousand dollars cheaper.  (note:  purple room means all purple.  walls, window sills, ceiling, doors, door jams, door knobs.  yes.  door knobs.  anything that wasnt carpet in that room was purple.  awesome).  

anyways, in march my dad and i were tearing out the cabinets in the kitchen when we started to smell smoke.  something smelled like it was burning.  we felt the walls around where we took out the cabinets and they were really hot, especially next to the water heater.  yes, for whatever strange reason, the water heater was in the kitchen.  right next to the fridge and the sink.  not covered either.  just right there in the corner.  hanging out being aesthetically pleasing for everyone.  anyways, we took out the water heater out and the area didnt cool off.  so we called the fire department.  four fire trucks and 8-10 firemen later, the kitchen was missing  a wall needed new electrical wiring.  so in the matter of a few minutes, the house no longer had hot water nor electricity.  

my roommate zach and i moved in a few weeks ago.  mainly to get out of our house that had 8 guys living in it, and so that i could escape for a couple months to study for the bar.  it was anticipated that there would be hot water and electricity by the time we moved in, but there have been so many improvements going on in the house, that as important as those things sound, there were other, more important things going on.  plus, the water heater needed to be installed outside with a shed built around it, and that isnt as easy as just buying a new one and putting it where the old one was.  and the electricity, well, when you are dealing with an insurance hired electrician, you can expect delays.  delays of a month?  sure, never underestimate insurance companies and how long they can take.  youre getting the work for 'free.'  you cant complain about how long it is taking.  plus, the electrician somehow stripped an extension chord and wired it into the wire on the roof, so that gives us electricity.  we just run a power strip from that and send extension chords through the house and use lamps for light.  better than nothing.  im not sure where the electricity is coming from since edison hasnt come by to turn on the box outside.  its a time in my life where i really feel like i can plead ignorance.  im an idiot when it comes to most home repairs so electrical stuff would be like someone speaking to me in finnish.  all i know is that an orange extension chord comes off our roof and it has a live current in it, so i use it.  

well, friday was supposed to be the big day.  the gas man was coming over.  we had our heater installed and covered.  they could have come earlier that week but no day really worked for my roommate or i.  but friday was the day.  the last of the cold showers.  which are so terrible.  im sure there are many people out there that are like, 'suck it up.  i took cold showers for 2 years on my mission.'  well, i didnt.  im sorry you went to some broke country, but i went to spain.  we had hot water.  (i actually ironically lived in an apartment that had a broken water heater and i did have to take cold showers for a couple months, but that doesnt help me right now).  plus, just because you may have showered in cold water doesnt mean you liked it.  perhaps you got used to it, but no one, if they had the choice would shower in cold water every morning instead of hot water.  i know you didnt get home and shower in cold water just because you were used to it and wanted to remember the mission. if you did, then im also sure you showed girls pictures of your mission on all your dates.  always a smooth move.  the babes love it.  plus, im living in long beach california.  if i was in hondorus, i wouldnt complain.  id be happy with water period.  or plumbing, no matter what decade it was from. but i guess im not a tough guy because i havnt grown to love the cold shower and i was happy for friday to come.  the city, like all lame entities, told us that they would come by sometime in the morning between 7 am and noon.  thanks jerks.  i find it impossible to believe that you cant give us a better estimate of when you will come.  impossible.  but its fine.  i agreed to watch my bar prep class online and wait at home.  

so i set my alarm for 7 am friday morning.  i didnt jump out of bed, but actually rolled out of bed at 7:15.  i went out front to take the trash cans in and to my horror i saw a white piece of paper on the door explaining that the gas people from the city had come by at 7:05, probably knocked once, no one came in 10 seconds so they split.  that, or they banged on the door, but i didnt hear them because i was lazily lying in bed.  but they are the bad guys in this blog, so they get the blame.  either way, i couldnt believe that of all the appointments that day, i was first on the list.  they tell me to be sure to set aside 5 hours of my day, and then they stop by in the first 5 minutes of those 5 hours.  and i missed them.  so i called them immediately and said that i didnt hear them and asked if they could come back.  the guy said they couldnt and that i would have to reschedule.  which i find hard to believe.  we are in long beach.  are there really so many people living without gas in this city that their mornings and afternoons are completely booked all day, every day?  could they really not come back?  plus, i know that their friday morning wasnt booked because one of their customers, me, 'wasnt home' when they stopped by.  so that freed up some time.  i mean, was there such a long wait list that someone was bumped into my spot immediately?  when i asked him when they could come back he said they had an opening on monday morning.  oh really?  you have spots open on the next available work day, but somehow your current work day, a friday, is entirely booked?  amazing.  such bad luck for these long beach city workers.  all of the thousands of people living without gas in this city scheduled on friday.  crazy how that works sometimes. so i had no choice and rescheduled for monday and committed myself to 3 more cold showers.  the electrician didnt come either.  that was probably expected though.  he probably just didnt want to.  no need.  as though the insurance company is breathing down his neck to provide prompt assistance to their customers.  they defined the term delay.  but its fine, we have our power strips and extension chords.  its not that bad. i should probably end this and cool off with a cold shower or something before i get too riled up about it.  good thing i live in honduras.