long live the king

so my friend lindsey wrote me today and said she was looking forward to my michael jackson tribute post. she, as well as most close friends and family should know, i am a big fan. i recently wrote that i would pay more money to see him live and would like to see him over any other group or performer. but, im not quite sure what to say about his passing. so much has been said or will be said. people will just throw out their thoughts and opinions all weekend long. i have had many wandering thoughts. bill simmons, a sportswriter for espn said it well in an email exchange he had with his friend that "Before he went off the deep end, Jackson was definitely one of those rare, "I specifically remember moments of my life that he was involved in" celebrities." and its so true. i had one of those moments.

for me it was the spring/summer of 1999. i had just finished my freshman year of college. i was still living in provo and just working and taking some classes while waiting to go on the mission. i was living with my older brother, but he was in the process of rekindling a relationship with the girl that he would eventually marry. they had dated once before and were starting to hang out again. in typical fashion though they were pulling the, 'we arent dating again we just hang out 12 hours a day together and disappear without telling anyone where we are.' not that they need to tell anyone. they were adults. but we all have had friends like that or been in that situation and done it ourselves.

'hey, where's matt?'

'not sure, he was just here. did he leave?'

'i dont know. i didnt hear him say he was going anywhere, nor did i hear him leave, but i cant find him.'

12 hours later: 'oh, hey matt, welcome back from where ever it was you just were for the past day.'

back to michael. so i was dating a girl named sharman (yes, that was her name and she was from utah). she was a huge michael jackson fan. she was a cougarette and a dancer and could pop and lock like michael unlike anyone ive ever seen. she was actually working on a cruise ship for the summer, but i knew that she really liked michael jackson so i decided to make a mix tape for her. but not a mix tape like cassette tape, like a vhs mix tape. this was before the days of youtube and easy internet video access. so i went out and rented michael jackson music videos and did what any good mormon, boy scout would do. i hooked up a couple of vcr's at my sister lark's house and started pirating copies of my favorite music videos. i had pretty much set up a residence at lark's house. she and her roommates were michael fans. one roommate, jill, was actually reading a biography about him. lark was a dance major and a full-fledged fan of michael and his music. it was just the cosmos coming together. a long time fan. a budding dance major that liked his music and really appreciated his dancing. and myself, the recent convert just starting to learn of the brilliance that is michael jackson - especially when on stage.

but i remember in particular one afternoon, i was at lark's place, i dont think anyone was there but me. i was just hanging out, doing my thing - illegally pirating some michael jackson videos. i remember just sitting there on the edge of the coffee table just a couple feet in front of the tv and staring and watching smooth criminal and just being in awe of literally how smooth and effortlessly michael waltzed across a floor (jump to 6:35 in the video below). im as stiff as a board on the dance floor. i try and i enjoy dancing. but if there is anything i am not when im dancing, its smooth and fluid. and for whatever reason i clearly remember that moment and will always remember the summer of 99 as the michael jackson conversion summer. nothing necessarily amazing or special. but i had ive been a fan ever since and really had an appreciation for his music and especially dancing.



so that summer was probably my michael jackson moment, besides of course captain EO moments once a year at disneyland growing up. i always thought the guy was weird and sort of a creep until i got to know the michael jackson i missed in the 80s, and i was hooked ever since. not that he wasnt weird or didnt have issues, but unfortunately i heard more about the strange michael before i ever really got to know the better michael.

so unfortunately there was that other side. i am looking forward to when books are released about michael. im sure a lot will pour out right away, but hopefully at some point someone will write one that tells his story and the author isnt just in it for the money. the man clearly was a piece of work. i wasnt going to talk about it because its not fun to dwell on the other half of his life. but i do have some thoughts on it. nellie said yesterday that in a way she was glad he died. because he seemed so troubled and lonely that now he gets to escape all of those problems. and i think its so true. he was about to do his tour and i know that i, and i think everyone hoped that somehow it would be a resurrection of that old michael jackson that completely blew you away at some point in your life. but i think that was extremely wishful thinking. who knows, maybe he would have made a grand comeback and reverted back to being the greatest thing ever. but i dont think that was possible. he probably could have performed. heaven knows he could perform. and im sure it was something he could never lose no matter how much of his brain he had lost. but we are all so much of a product of our life experiences. look, i hardly know anything about his life. but he was 5 when he was started lead singing for the jackson 5. 5 years old! at 5 years old he became an entertainer. at 11 they had a number 1 hit. again, at 11 years old he had already been a performer for 6 years and was lead singing for a hit group. 11! then of course there are all sorts of stories of family abuse and other nasty stuff. those problems alone mess people up for life. couple it with being the biggest thing the world has ever known and you will for sure end up a head case. its funny how i, and probably many other people, dream sometimes of being famous (like a famous football star for real madrid), but i wonder how much other people, like michael jackson, maybe just dreamed of being normal. he was never really a part of society. at 5 he started performing and he was soon thereafter a superstar. so the only part of his life that you and i would call normal or could relate to are his first 5 years. if that. i wonder if he would have given it all up for a simple life with a working dad and a stay at home mom and some brothers and sisters that never went on to become famous.

so not to get too religious in the post. but again, these are my wandering thoughts during this whole thing. one of the coolest things about being religious and believing in something beyond this life, is the belief that there is something better beyond this life and that you can leave things here. at some point you can be relieved of everything and it will get sorted out later. and maybe not always in a good way. it wont be chocolate chip cookies and milk for everyone. i pirated movies in my day (i have since gone out and bought michael jackson music video dvd's so that sort of makes up for it, right? plus vhs, was about 2 years shy of becoming completely obsolete and worthless so that should factor into it as well - its those types of sound arguments that im sure will help me one day in court). but there is great power and comfort in that hope of something better and things getting sorted out. so did michael jackson molest children? theres a really good chance. nothing technically proven in court, but lots of bad evidence that makes it seem like he did. was he himself molested? not sure. abused? definitely. does that justify any of his wrongdoings? absolutely not. does it some how factor in to everything? i would think, but i dont know. but i dont have to sort it out. but i know michael was clearly troubled and had a lot of demons and that he doesnt have to deal with everything while someone sorts everything out.

i'm sad he died. i really wished to see him perform live. it really was a life dream of mine. i hoped that it was possible. but ill admit, sometimes it was hard being a fan. he would just do so many strange things that i wanted to overlook, but just couldnt. he would do things and people would ask if i really liked that weirdo. id have to try and explain that i did, but he was strange, but he was so great back in the day. so as bummed that i am that he's gone, i think the glory years were long gone and never coming back anyways. if there is anything good from this, its that whatever demons and crazy issues he was dealing with and carrying he no longer has to deal with. it also means that we no longer have to deal with remembering him that way. his troubled side will linger for awhile, but eventually we will just remember the great, and let someone else deal with the bad. which is sort of how it should be with everyone. but especially someone that was immortalized by the world over, unlike anything we will probably ever see again. long live the king, of pop.

holga photos

17-Year-Old Thinks She's Getting Into Photography

June 8, 2009 | The Onion Issue 45•24

EUGENE, OR—After wasting an afternoon taking pictures of a broken tricycle, moss on trees, and the shadow of a wrought-iron fence, Churchill Alternative High School senior Jessica Ivers falsely informed family and friends Saturday that she was getting into photography. "I love the way real film looks," said Ivers, who has owned the old single-lens reflex 35 millimeter camera for exactly one week, and named as her favorite photographers "probably Diane Arbus" and the French guy who took the picture of the boy with the wine bottle. "I'm really fascinated by textures, and I think I'll be able to get some good shots of my grandma's hands this weekend." Sources close to Ivers expect the camera to join her clarinet and yoga mat under her bed once she pays $14.85 to develop the roll of clumsy, overexposed images.


so i'm not getting into photography, but i do find it interesting. dont worry, i didnt go out and buy an expensive camera with a big lens and im not about therefore call myself a photographer and start asking you to refer your friends so that i can do their weddings even though i have no experience or training beyond reading the instruction manual for my expensive camera. not remotely.

but nellie and i do own a holga camera. two actually. my friend bought me one a couple years ago and they are pretty cool. nellie brought one to europe and i'm glad she did. so i like the holga because you never know what you are going to get. its not digital and requires film so you cant immediately see how the picture turned out. you also have to advance the film manually and you have to try and line up each picture correctly(?). not sure how to explain that. there is no automatic advancement that puts the slide in the right position. so sometimes your pictures overlap if you dont line it up exactly, which almost always happens because there is no way to know if its lined up correctly. also, if you forget to wind it, then it will just take pictures on top of each other. it also has an old school button which literally just opens up the shutter. so depending on how long you hold down the button will determine how much light comes in to each picture. i dont know if its for that reason or another, but the colors usually get blown out.

so as you can tell, the pictures are pretty unpredictable as to how they will come out. again, im not getting into photography. im not about to start selling these photos (unless of course you wanted to buy them), but i did think some were worth posting.



so this and the last one might be my favorite. i think its mainly because of the colors. nothing is really going on in the photo. the coastline is of course great, but the holga doesnt really give you much detail and its not as good as any digital camera. but the colors are fascinating. i feel like it has a colors and a feel that people would try and mimic with a photo editing program. its dull and feels like the photo could have been taken in the 1970s. except that if it was taken in the 70s, there is no way the blue in the ocean would be as bright and vibrant. its almost as though it captures the colors in their purest and best form. not entirely, but the sand is very brown and dull. it wasnt that dull of course, it was lighter sand, just like the ocean wasnt that blue, although it was lighter than the pacific ocean and was pretty blue. somehow the one is dulled down and the other blown out and they create a great contrast. believe me, not all turn out like this, most are just a mess, but sometimes you get something interesting, like this one.



this one is great only because the grass turned out yellow. why? i dont know. it wasnt yellow. it was some of the greenest and nicest grass ive ever been on. yet for some reason it comes out yellow. maybe because the film wasnt wound properly and so there was more light exposed on the picture when the next picture was taken. not sure. someone with a tiny bit of photography knowledge probably knows. this one also shows what happens when you dont wind the film properly and two photos overlap.



this one is actually four pictures combined. nellie forgot to wind the film after each photo so she ended up taking four pictures on top of each other. completely done by accident, but it made the field look fuller and it just looks really cool.



so i really like these two because it shows you the impact of the sun. pretty much the same photo, one just towards the sun and the other not. but the contrast and impact of the sun is awesome. but the one towards the sun doesnt get blown out and the whole image doesnt go bright yellow where you cant see anything. instead the colors just come out and explode. whereas the other one is dull but strong colors. again, it has a sort of faded, ancient feel to it or almost feels like its out of a scene from a horror film where they blur the screen and fade the colors.





nellie really likes this one. its just a random photo. this is our attempt at being 'artsy' with our photography, yet unoriginal. like taking photos of the texture of your grandma's hands, or a picture of your friends in front of that totally cool building downtown that is like old looking with the paint chipping off.



so nellie took this one. its just a random street in madrid. i like how the street and buildings are brown and look faded, yet there are random colors throughout, like the green tree, a strip of blue sky, and the random red shirt. again, its a fun camera because its so unpredictable. im sure many photographers know how to 'use' them so that their photos turn our how they want or how they expect. we dont really know what we are doing. which is actually better for us since it keeps our expectations low and makes it that much better when we get an interesting photo because we have no idea why it turned out but others didnt. sometimes its nice having things be unpredictable.

here a couple others: the temple and then a picture on omaha beach looking up at the hills and cliffs that the allied forces had to climb.

sunday morning

i just found this song on facebook. i immediately fell in love with it. its just utterly fantastic. picture a lazy sunday morning. one where you dont have to get up and run off to church right away or anywhere else. you just wake up, sit on the side of the bed. stagger down the hall. maybe plop down on the couch and stare at the wall for a few minutes. maybe get some cereal. maybe get the paper. maybe not. it doesnt really matter. its a sunday morning. you are just waking up and slowly welcoming the new day. the song so perfectly captures a sunday morning that it sort of blows my mind. please enjoy. (and josh, this is the second post in one day, i hope you appreciate it. plus its a beck related post - a tribute to the concert we went to. good times.)

Record Club: Velvet Underground & Nico 'Sunday Morning' from Beck Hansen on Vimeo.

quick plug for 'up'

i just wanted to give a quick plug for 'up.' the new pixar movie. in my movie post i campaigned a little for 'star trek' because it's a great show and worth seeing. 'up' deserves it's own plug as well. nellie had been wanting to see this movie for awhile so we saw it soon after it came out and it completely delivered. everyone should see this movie. its pixar at its finest. they always put out an excellent product. even their 'boring' movies like 'cars' are still excellent compared to so many other movies that come out each year.

'up' isnt life changing. its not a 'blockbuster.' its not action and adventure like star trek. it doesnt have a plot that will 'blow you away.' but its so enjoyable that no one should pass on seeing it and they should make an effort to see it. it will make you happy that there are people in hollywood that dedicate themselves to making excellent movies like 'up.' the really impressive part and why the movie is outstanding is the subtle brilliance that underlies entire movie. the fantastic characters. the great comedy and the way they capture so many wonderful things about life. the fact that in 5 minutes at the beginning of the movie they can tell a character's life story and completely attach you to the character and make you care about him - something other movies cant accomplish in 120 minutes. plus its in 3d. but 'good' 3d. its not in your face 3d where they are just doing obnoxious things the whole time. nothing comes flying out of the screen at you. they just add depth to the movie. again, subtle brilliance.

look, i dont want to over elevate people's expectations with this movie, although even if i did, i still dont think people would be disappointed. but it deserves a plug and its only a matter of weeks before this movie is pushed aside by other big summer movies, none of which will be better. they might have things or elements that you like better, but overall quality can only be matched, not surpassed, at least not until toy story 3 next summer.

tweeterpated

so i dont really 'get' twitter. my friend was asking me about it the other day. i joined so that i could investigate it to try and figure out why its all the rage, but i im not quite on board. it seems like quite the fad. like the pager. and like the pager or crystal pepsi, i dont think it will last long. i could be wrong. whether or not it stays, it is lame.

so i admit, that last sentence is a little hypocritical. its coming from a guy that has jumped on many internet fads, all of which were or are perceived as lame, and many of which faded into oblivion. i have a myspace account. a facebook account. even a (gulp) ldslinkup account.

like many internet fads, twitter has a good concept. its just getting out of control. myspace was great because creating your own internet web page is difficult. so they facilitated it for everyone and gave everyone the opportunity to have their own web space. you could decorate it and change it how you liked. the problem was when 40 year old men with mustaches started to realize that myspace was a great way to meet 14 year old girls. it also turned sour when girls began to realize that myspace was a perfect way to bring out the inner prostitute that they all apparently had inside of them. who knew right? no one until myspace. they decorated their pages with all their scandalous photos which usually involved hundreds of photos of the person standing in some lame bar holding a beer bottle. so original.

facebook has a great concept. despite getting out of control, i think it has more staying power than myspace because older people are even jumping on board. plus, you cant go crazy and 'pimp' out your pages like myspace. the purists will tell you that it was better when you could only connect with people in your network. each school was its own network and you could only connect with those people in your network, or at your school. it was more personal. now its not so personal unless you consider connecting with your parent's friends 'personal.' i dont know if facebook inspired twitter. i doubt it, but on facebook you can update your 'status.' tell all the people what you are doing or what you are thinking or if something made you 'lol'. i've never really gotten into this feature, which is maybe why i havnt grasped twitter.

here's the thing, i understand the concept of twitter and why it can be useful. its like mini updates on peoples' lives. i understand that for some people it can be extremely useful. many sports writers and news organizations have twitter accounts, which makes sense. when they 'break' news they can update their twitter account. its a great way for these people to tell their audience something important or something interesting. they have information worth sending to people and worth distributing.

the problem that has occurred is that people that arent important or interesting, or have nothing worth distributing, are insisting on updating us about their lives. they are grabbing a hold of twitter and going crazy with it. which i think is what makes it appear ridiculous. its not just that people are doing meaningless stuff, but they are then telling everyone about it. even if im your husband i dont need constant updates on your life. sorry nellie but its true. i dont. not that you twitter, but if you did, i probably wouldnt follow it.

the other problem is that it seems like twitter is all about getting people to 'follow you on twitter.' its not so much about updating people about your life because you want them to know what you are doing, but moreso you tweet because you want people to want to know what you are doing. its like some sort of popularity contest, like having friends on myspace. you have to get lots of followers and fill them with meaningless junk as often as you can so that they will check back in often. if they check back in often, then they care about what you are doing. if they care about what you are doing, then they like you. if they like you, then your life has meaning and you are somebody important. if you are important, then you are cool, or something else equally great.

so that was probably a little extreme. i know that not everyone is on twitter for that reason. but the problem still remains that people dont have anything to say, but still provide updates. here is how my weekend would have gone on twitter:

friday, 8:02 p.m. 'the wife just found a 'souplantation' 15% off coupon in the mail! aw yeah. date night extravaganza 2009 is about to go down!

friday, 9:07 p.m. 'souplantation was as consistent as always. my bowels hate me but the wife is super happy. always important. gonna cuddle up with her now for an awesome flick at home.'

friday, 10:45 p.m. dang, this movie is pretty good. man movies are great sometimes. shoot, im missing some of the plot because im twittering during a movie. its more important that you know that im watching a movie and care and respond that im watching a movie than me actually watch it. life events dont matter as much as you knowing what my life events are.

friday 11:17 p.m. the wife totally fell asleep during the movie. should i leave her alone or tickle her foot until she wakes up? tweet me back and let me know what i should do. whatever you tell me to do, ill do. your opinion and loyal following is more important than me continuing to direct my own life.

saturday 12:36 p.m. just cut down a tree in the front yard with my dad. he's like paul bunyan because he cut it down and im big blue because i had to haul everything into the back. plus, im yoked like an ox. yard work with dad is the best.

saturday 5:07 p.m. cruising out to the inland empire with the wife. and yes im twittering while driving. yo, hit me up if you going to be in the i.e. this evening.

saturday 10:27 p.m. just chillaxin in the hot tub with the wife, zach attack and d-ax. nothing like a hot tub. do you like hot tubs?

sunday 2:09 p.m. d-ax and i just put a serious beat down on super mario bros. 3. d-ax did most of the work, he's the true champion here, but i contributed and took out my share of goombas.

sunday 6:01 p.m. lil z just graduated from loma linda. im so proud. i always knew he could do it. he's the bestest. that's not a word. lol. im funny sometimes right? right? please say yes.


pretty exciting right? not really. just tiring. the weekend was a lot of fun, but besides my mom and a couple of other family members, i dont know that anyone would really care. even if my mom did care, i dont think she would want an hourly update.

so i cant fault you for following twitter or getting involved with it. we all want attention. i started a podcast for pete's sake. i mock people that twitter and the attention they seek by blogging about it and putting it online for people to read in hopes that its interesting and grabs their attention. its not that i dont enjoy attention. i am human after all. and im not saying im better than internet fads. ive admitted i was sucked into others. but i didnt jump on the pager train when it went on a short ride in the 90s, i dont think ill buy a ticket this time either.

awkward family photos

many people have put this on their blog and/or emailed it to me, so there is a good chance that you have already seen it. but i came across it again today and spent way too long looking at the pictures. the site is very addicting. either because the pictures are just so ridiculous that you cant help but stare and laugh, or because the photo looks a little too similar to a photo you have taken in the past. granted, not nearly as awkward, but we all were in high school once. so enjoy, if you havnt already. and if you have, its probably time to go back:

http://awkwardfamilyphotos.com/

also, another site i get stuck on for far too long. i think i love onion articles because they are often so short and sometimes so spot on or capture a person's thinking so well. in this case, teengers:

Mom Really Funny Today

KENSINGTON, MD—Local teens James Ripley, 17, and David Ripley, 14, expressed surprise today when their mother, 47-year-old Cynthia Ripley legitimately made them laugh on several occasions within a 24-hour span. "I didn't know Mom could be funny." said James, who described his mother's usual attempts at humor as "not funny." "When she was on the phone with Aunt Linda [Generro], she was making all these hilarious 'I'm crazy' faces, and when Dad dropped the remote she was like 'smooth move, George Clooney.' She was really funny." The matriarch's comedic run will reportedly end during dinner, when she picks up the salad tongs and pretends to play them like a guitar.

futbol recap

so nellie and i recently went to spain and france. we were fortunate enough to go to a real madrid. the only downside was that win or lose, real madrid was going to finish second for the season. they couldnt catch leaders, barcelona, and the third place team couldnt catch them. nonetheless, they still played the starters, which i was happy about, they just didnt have too much to play for. but i did walk away with a few thoughts/observations.

the players.

soccer players are short. its never been a sport dominated by 'big men' like football or basketball. i knew this, yet was still surprised to see these players in person. when they are on tv, you cant really tell how tall or short they are. plus, when they are all pretty much the same size, you cant really tell that they are all 5'9 or 5'10. plus, they are all pretty thin. not terribly thin, just fit and not too bulky. something that you can also see on tv, but in person you realize these guys arent intimidating like basketball players. those players all look 'average' on tv until you realize that john stockton who looks like a midget on the court was actually 6'0 and all the other players are at least 6'5.

speaking of players. at the end of the first half, iker casillas (the real madrid goal keeper) took off his gloves and threw them into the stands. then on his way to the tunnel he took off his jersey and threw it to the girl 5 seats away from us. same row, just 5 seats to the left. i couldnt believe it. as he was jogging over i had my arms outstretched and was yelling 'iker! iker!' but he didnt choose me. i dont know what i would have done if he threw it to me. probably squeezed it so hard that the sweat would have run all over my body and wept tears of joy like a little child. seriously though, how awesome would that have been? i wish i knew that he was going to come so close to us. i would have made nellie take off her ring and be the one screaming his name. surely it would have increased our odds of getting the jersey.

the game.

the game is so fast. everyone is so fast. the ball moves fast and everyone is so quick. it was like the speed of an indoor soccer game, only on a field 120 yards long. again, i felt like this was something that tv hides. either because when two fast people are running side by side, it blurs how fast they are really going, or you just cant really grasp it until they are running past you. whatever the reason, these players move fast and are so skilled. its much faster than i expected.

the fans and the stadium.

so there are lots of cool things that just made it a different sporting experience. a cultural experience even. one great thing is that i dont think they sell food inside the stadium. they might, im not quite sure. we walked in and out of the same tunnel, but we didnt see anyone selling any food. so there were tons of food vendors outside the stadium selling all sorts of snacks and food. people just walking in with all sorts of great items, and its totally fine. no crazy security or owners upset that if people bring in food that means they wont buy the $15 hot dog inside the stadium.

the coolest part was at halftime when literally everyone pulled out a bocadillo and started eating. a halftime dinner. just some bread, meat and cheese. no sauce or anything. you dont need it when your bread is fresh, your meat is freshly sliced off of the leg of the pig right when you buy it, and your cheese is strong. seriously though, nellie and i felt out of place not eating a sandwich at halftime. everyone whipped out the sandwich that they were allowed to bring in, and just calmly ate while pondering the events of the first half.

no instant replay. i thought there would have been, because it just seems normal, but there isnt. if you missed a play or a goal, you wont see it until you get home. not that it matters though because everyone is watching. its not like there are breaks or anything. you cant leave until halftime. you go to a sporting event and everyone is there to watch the game. crazy huh? some fans were even sitting alone. they were my favorite. again, just there to see their favorite team play.

so there are two final things that i really wish we would adopt at sporting events in the u.s. the first one is whistling. people dont boo their team, they whistle. and its great. there is always debate about whether fans should boo their team or any players. espn people always elevate themselves above everyone and say something lame like they would never boo a player because its just wrong or not classy because its not like you could do any better.


but that is what is so great about whistling. its like mock cheering. there is something different about whistling as opposed to booing. it just feels different. its more of a 'you dont deserve our cheers so we wont give them to you, and its not so much that we are going to boo you, but you are just playing poor and we expect more out of you, mainly because we love you, but also because we know you can play better and should play better and we want to see it. shame on you.' whistling is really very fitting and should be adopted.

nothing really beats the chanting and singing fans though. no p.a. system at the game. not like there is really a moment to play music though as the play is continuous. but you dont need it when you have fans that cheer and sing the entire time. one of these clips is of the game but you can hear in the background the constant cheering of fans. the other video actually shows the fans cheering. they did this cheer over and over for about 10 minutes. i cant quite understand it. ive looked for it online, but i havnt found it. either way, its just great that they stand around a sing all game. so fun.