Oh The Places I've Been

So the 30th birthday is happening. The roaring 20's are forever over. I think I've had a good run.

With most birthdays you can't help but think about the year that was or look back on what happened since your previous birthday. Think about where you are and how you got there. It's something that usually fascinates me.

I'm often curious in people's stories and how they got to the point they are in. Few people are actually born homeless or addicted to drugs. Not every rich person was born into wealth. How did they go to where they are at? A person's life and how they got to where they are is always fascinating to me. I think that is why I wanted to do law. A person's story and how they got into their situation is intriguing and always unique. So it's good I spend most of my time in front of a computer. Quality human interaction.

Anyways, instead of dwell on my story for the 20's and analyze whether I am where I want to be or on track for that life goal I haven't quite set, I thought I would try and chart the many places I have gone during my 20's. Sort of like an abbreviated travel/journal entry. Essentially how I physically got to where I am and the many detours in between.

I didn't include any local travel or travel home for things like Thanksgiving or Christmas. I also didn't include any of the many day trips/flights I take for work.

October 13, 2000: Collado Villalba, Spain

Living in the suburb of Madrid about 40 km to the north. Missionary companion: Kyle Flammer. Living with an Elder Mortensen and Elder Jensen. They were "dead" to say the least. Mortensen was going home the next transfer and Jensen had just been "Dear John'd" 22 months into his mission.

It was cold in Villalba as it was up in the foothills and there were some days when Elder Mortensen wouldn't even take off his sweat pants. He would just put on his slacks over his sweat pants, put on a white shirt and tie and go out and proselyte. He'd come home, take off his slacks and he was all ready for bed. Convenient and comfortable. I think Seinfeld accurately explained his usefulness to society:



April 2001: Talavera de la Reina

Moved there from Villalba.

August 2001: Segovia, Spain

This is where I "lived" until I left Spain. I put lived in quotation marks only because there was quite a bit of traveling those last couple months. Destinations included: Toledo, Caceres, Badajoz, Cuidad Real, Valladolid, Salamanca, Alcala de Henares, Puertollano, Fuenlabrada, Alcazar de San Juan, Avila, and of course, Madrid. I'm probably forgetting some places.

December 2001: Flew back to the United States

January 2002: Provo, UT

The return to the BYU. I lived in Park Plaza apartments with Dave and four other guys. 6 men, 2 bedrooms. Three guys to a bedroom. It was miserable to say the least. One roommate was normal, one was a loose cannon and a breakup away from going on a campus shooting spree, one had turrets and one called himself a "dating machine." You couldn't script a more random and terrible living situation.

April 2002: New Horizon's East

As soon as the semester ended we fled Park Plaza. The new place was a significant upgrade as every guy had his own bedroom. However, the place was old and the sewer downstairs did flood 4-5 times in the two years we lived there. To this day, and especially now that I'm a lawyer, I'm shocked we never did more about it. Sure we complained and they would come out and "fix" the problem, but then it would just happen again 6 months later. We had rights and didn't exercise them as much as we should have.

May 2002: Boise, Idaho

Took a trip to Idaho for a friend's wedding. First, and still only time in Boise. No immediate plans or desire to return.

May 2002: Spain

Went back to Spain with three friends. Madrid to Barcelona to Valencia and then back again to Madrid. Made some stops along the way.

June 2002: Claremont

Moved back to home to work for the summer.

August 2002: Provo

Moved back for school.

October 2002: Logan, UT.

Went to The Howl - a big Halloween party at Utah State University. First and only time in Logan. Again, no immediate plans to return.

February 2003: Jackson Hole, WY and Grand Targhee, ID

Took a snowboarding trip. We stayed in our roommate's grandmother's nursing home guest room. Not sure if you caught that, but we stayed in an old folk's home and it was awesome. Unfortunately, none of the residents joined in on the snowboarding.

May (?) 2003: Havasupai, AZ

First trip to the Garden of Eden (although it doesn't quite look like it from space). On the hike out our friend begged Dave and I to leave her for dead in the canyon. Poor girl didn't have hiking shoes and had blistered feet. She would tell us she was going to die and then would tell us to go on ahead and that she would catch up.

July 2003: San Francisco

Road trip to San Francisco. Maybe one of the more enjoyable road trips ever. We spent about 24 hours in the car and about 18 hours in San Francisco. Good times. Danny Kormylo peed in a plastic bottle and then threw it at our friends who were driving in another car. So that happened.

August 2003: Costa Rica

Family vacation to Costa Rica. Just the parents and three youngest (non-married) siblings went. It pays to be single.

August 2003: Mesa and Tucson Arizona

Flew to Mesa to see about a girl. Visited sister and bro-in-law in Tucson. I bought a U of A t-shirt but never checked the size. It was an XL. I still have it even though I hardly wear it because it's too big. Every time I do I feel like I'm back in 8th grade wearing shirts two sizes too big. But I did buy a sweet Spain jacket on that trip that I still wear to this day. Dave has already claimed it after I die.

February 2004: Las Vegas

Road trip to Vegas.

April 2004: Las Vegas

Another road trip to Vegas. This time for Lindsey's track meet. Stayed at a friend's house. The last night there we were eating at the friend's parent's country club. We wanted to splurge on our last night and order a nice dinner. So we did, fully intending on paying for the meal. Little did we know that you don't pay for the meals, but they are just added on to the member's tab. So we couldn't pay. I think we offered but they of course told us not to worry about it. I think we may have even ordered oysters. Felt kinda bad after that one.

April 2004: Moved to 761 N. University Ave. in Provo

One house, 12 guys. Roommates were much better than the Park Plaza apartment. Still a lot of guys though. Our land(slum)lord was fittingly named Dick.

July (?) 2004: Littleton, CO

Drove to Littleton for a weekend to see about a girl. Never been back to Colorado but I like what I saw. Plus, I hear good things. Nellie and I would move there if we ever left CA.

July 2005: Havasupai, AZ

Second trip to the Garden.

August 2005: Claremont, CA

Graduated from college and moved back in with my parents, because I was cool.

September 2005: Provo, UT

Went back up to Provo for a football game. And because I couldn't get enough of the place.

December 2005: Mesa, AZ

Quick trip to Mesa to check up on a girl. Not the smartest decision. She was still alive. That's pretty much all that was accomplished on that trip.

April 2006: New York City

Flew to New York for same reasons as above. So I was maybe a little desperate and/or stuck in a fog. But I did get to see a Yankees/Red Sox game at Yankee Stadium. That was great. Plus, NYC is always awesome regardless of the company.

July 2006: Honolulu, HI

The first of two free trips paid for by Karl's employer. Literally went there for a weekend. Flew in on Friday and left on Sunday. Not the best way to experience Hawaii for the first time, but can't really complain when it's free. Memorable moment was going to the Polynesian Cultural Center and Karl demanding our money back after the luau because he wasn't impressed with the food or the surroundings.

August 2006: Garden Grove, CA

Moved to the Garbage Grove. Actually not a terrible apartment. Just a random city and location.

December 2006: New York City

The second free trip by Karl's employer. This one was also quick but in NYC. Karl needed a date for his company's Christmas party. Since I was single and always willing to accept free flights, and since Karl doesn't discriminate when it comes to dating or to choosing Christmas party dates, we were a great match. I think Karl ended up hating that job, but I thought it was pretty great.

March 2007: New York City

I was on a New York roll. I just wanted to feel cool so I kept on going back. It was actually another free trip. I guess I was lucky or something. Or just knew how to accept free offers.

May (?) 2007: Yosemite, CA

Climbed half dome with the brothers and father.

May 2007: Huntington Beach, CA

I don't know what it is about me and living with more guys than should be allowed in one space, but our house had 8 guys in it including one living in the garage and living on the roof/balcony. We were less than a block from the ocean. So that was cool. The house was trashed though and always dirty.

August 2007: East coast

The second trip with the parents and the younger siblings. NYC, upstate NY and Washington DC. Great trip. We were spoiled as younger siblings with some of the vacations. Not saying that the vacations with the entire family weren't better or fun in their own right, just not as cool.

November 2007: Seattle, Washington

Thanksgiving at the sister's in Seattle. First time in Seattle, not to be the last. Great place and really fun...to visit.

December 2007: Las Vegas, NV

Nellie invited me to her work Christmas party in Las Vegas. We weren't dating at the time. We spent the night in the same hotel room. One would think this might be inappropriate for a variety of reasons or that a spark or something might occur during our stay together. However, Nellie still wasn't attracted to me and wouldn't touch me with a 10 foot pole. The sexual tension coming from her was one sided to say the least. Which I think actually means there wasn't any tension, more just one-sided frustration.

January 2008: Park City, UT

Sexual tension finally started coming on. Went snowboarding in Utah and went to Sundance. We stayed at my Aunt and Uncle's quaint little cabin. It was actually anything but. The lodging and the food makes you feel like you are staying at a resort. I suggest everyone book a weekend at the Clark Hideaway.

February 2008: Arizona

The first Ragnar. Memorable, but only in retrospect. At the time it was pretty terrible.

March 2008: Gilbert, Arizona

Nellie dragged me back to Arizona to babysit her nieces and nephews for a weekend. We also went to a spring training game. That was back when the Angels still had Vlad and were awesome. I hope we win the Carl Crawford sweepstakes.

May 2008: Long Beach, CA

Moved into the Grandma's old house in Long Beach. The place was in terrible condition when Zach and I first moved in. No fridge. No hot water. No electricity throughout the house. It was essentially a glorified garage. I would say it was ideal conditions for studying for the bar since there weren't many distractions, but I think the conditions were only ideal if you were a squatter.

May 2008: San Francisco, CA

Took a road trip prior to the bar.

August 2008: Las Vegas

Went to Vegas for a bachelor party prior to the wedding. If that picture doesn't look like a bunch of guys that just went wild in Vegas and dominated the city, then I don't know what does. Viva la Bermuda Suite.

August 2008: Kauai, HI

Honeymoon. We honeymooned.

October 2008: Provo, UT

Went back to the Alma Mater for Homecoming. It was snowing in October. We remembered why we chose to live in Orange County.

November 2008: Seattle, WA

Thanksgiving in Seattle. Two years in a row. I think I've spent 7 days in Seattle and it's only rained one day. This whole Seattle is wet and rainy is a bunch of bull. It's always sunny in Seattle.

February 2009: Santa Barbara, CA and San Luis Obispo, CA

April 2009: Santa Barbara, CA

Ragnar part II. Better team, better location, but there were route issues. It was actually pretty easy, well, except for Zach.

April 2009: Vegas

Sister's graduation. Go Rebels.

May 2009: Spain and France

Madrid, Segovia, Burgos, San Sebastian. France: Avignon, Cannes, Paris, Normandy. Also flew in and out of London if that counts. Thanks to everyone who recommended we take this trip. Still one of our better early marriage decisions. In 4 months that trip won't be so easy/nearly impossible. It was the best use of a tax return.

October 2009: Boston, MA and Connecticut

I'd name the city in Connecticut but I think there's only one. Fortunately Nellie's brother happens to live in that city.

December 2009: Yosemite, CA

Holiday trip to Yosemite. Even though I was no longer single, Nellie and I were still invited so it was sort of like another younger siblings vacation. Some traditions die hard.

June 2010: Seal Beach, CA

Moved from the LBC. We are three blocks from the beach. Seal Beach is pretty great.

August 2010: Provo Canyon, UT

West family reunion. Highlight was everyone getting sick on the last day there. Meaning everyone. We had 6 adults and two kids in our van. The night before we came home 5 of the 6 adults were throwing up. I was the fortunate one to not get sick because I'm tough. I consequently became the designated driver for the ride home.

October 13, 2010: Seal Beach to San Jose Airport to Monterrey

There and back before 5 p.m. I guess I included one work trip. It just seemed fitting that it happened on my birthday.

So there it is. Ten years and a bunch of trips. A pretty good list. Surely not as much as some. It pales in comparison to Nellie's list (Jerusalem, China, Peru, all of Europe...), but I'm happy with it. Particularly because I'm optimistic that I'll continue to go places in my 30's. I'll let you know how it goes. Assuming of course this blog still exists in 10 years.

Arcade Fire

Went to the show last night. Got tickets last minute. We debated going and eventually caved on the price and passed it off as an anniversary/birthday gift. But I don't know why we even debated the decision. Well, I do know why, because we are soon adding to the family and cash isn't exactly running over. But as hard of a decision as it may have been to make beforehand, there are zero regrets about it the day after. Which I knew would happen. This is my fourth time seeing the band and the first time seeing them in an indoor venue. I've never been disappointed and the fourth time was just as good if not better than the previous three.

Here's a great review of the show from the OC Register.

It accurately describes some of the issues the band faced all night. I'm sure with some bands or singers it could have completely derailed the show. But it only added to the enjoyment and experience with Arcade Fire. When your band is composed of 8 members and all members play multiple instruments, musical improvisation and adaptation is second nature. when you are the lead singer and your guitar fails, no biggie. Just head over to the piano and play The Suburbs.

Anyways. It was outstanding as always. I want to go to the show again tonight. If for no other reason than to participate in another Wake Up sing and dance-along. One of the more enjoyable of life's experiences.

Smart, Entertaining Reads from People I Know

I started this morning off the way I usually do by browsing a couple of "my sites." It's a way I ease into the work day. I should probably just go right into work so that I can leave sooner, but I know that once I get going there is no turning back. So I prefer to slowly get going. I think I've always sort of been like that. More of the guy that slowly eases into the pool or the ocean vs. the guy that dives right in to the freezing ocean water.

I digress. This morning in my web roundup I read an entertaining rant by Karl. It's on education. It's very smart, true and somewhat cynical. You should check it out. When I read it, it made me want to email it to an old professor of mine who blogs about education. So I go over to his website and find this little gem about politics in our country. He doesn't usually blog about politics, but what he said is also smart and true. And it made me think, "I know some smart and entertaining people with clever thoughts and ideas, and I like that. I should blog about it and pass this stuff on to my 4 readers." And so I am.

Arcade Fire Brilliance

I love the Arcade Fire and just about everything they do. After their last album they released the fantastic video featured below. They recently came out with another album, The Suburbs. They have once again upped the ante and the standard of greatness that they themselves have set.

Go to this site: The Wilderness Downtown

Put in your home address or any other address of your choice.

Enjoy. (Note: it can take awhile to load and the pop-ups are part of the experience. I watched it on Firefox and not on Google Chrome so I don't know if it works on Explorer or if I was missing out on much but not using Chrome.)

Maybe I liked it because I actually grew up in a suburb. Or maybe I liked it because I like pretty much anything Arcade Fire does. Or maybe I liked drawing trees and branches and then watching the birds come by later and rest on those branches. Or maybe I liked it because it's just plain cool and awesome.




Here is the Neon Bible video I mentioned:

Music and Movies

Adam, commented that I needed to do another post on this blog. Since I can't afford to lose any of the few remaining followers of this blog, and since he sometimes works 36 hours straight at his job (Yea Big Law!) I thought I would honor his request. Although I have had many random thoughts, here are three music and three movie thoughts:

Music:

1. The other day while driving home I heard Synchronicity II by The Police on the radio. It's an outstanding song. I think Sting actually played the Hollywood Bowl a few months ago. I'm bummed I missed that concert. I wish someone would have invited us to go to it. Regardless, I hadn't heard this song in a long long time. Maybe not the best song ever, but it's got a fantastic chorus and for me it's a forgotten Sting/Police song. I didn't think I could ever have a better experience with that song than when I was driving in the car listening to it on my way home. That was until I went home and looked up the song on YouTube and came across the music video:



Sweet 80's fashion goodness, look at those streamers! Oh how I love dated fashion. Especially on rock stars. In one moment they are the coolest thing on the planet. They know it and everyone treats them as such. Ten years later they are often the brunt of all fashion jokes.

2. Julian Casablancas recently came out with an album. For those unfamiliar with the name, he's the lead singer of The Strokes. I'm a big Strokes fan. The Strokes haven't put out an album for about 5 years now. Since their last album a lot of the individual band members have been putting out solo albums. All of the solo albums have been good, but they have sounded a lot like, well, the Strokes. Which is always puzzling to me. Why bother putting out a solo album unless it's going to be something different than what you are doing with the band? Are they trying to prove they can replicate the band sound without the other members? What is Julian trying to prove with this solo album? That he can produce good music with a guitar player, a bassist and a drummer? Right. We already knew that. You established that when you made awesome albums with the Strokes. Unless they hate each other, why do on their own what they can do better as a group?

Same thing with Brandon Flowers. His new solo song is good, but again, it's pretty much the exact same stuff he was doing with the Killers. What is he trying to prove or accomplish by doing it on his own? Is he trying to send a message to the other band members that he can come up with trendy above average catchy songs with somewhat cliche lyrics on his own? Is he trying to prove to the audience he can do it on his own? I think the band members and all the fans already knew he was the Killers. We didn't need a solo album for him to prove it. Unless you are someone like Jack White where you are in a band with only one other person and you venture off to try other groups with more people that produce different sounds, I don't understand the point in the solo album that has the same sound as the group album.

Here's a link to one Julian song: 11th Dimension

Here's another: Out of the Blue



Here is the Brandon Flower's song:





3. Speaking of Jack White, I saw part of the Under the Great White Northern Lights documentary the other day. I hadn't ever seen it and I only saw a small portion. But I found it to be so great. I think because it confirmed in my head that Jack White is awesome. He's clearly doing music because it is what he absolutely loves. I pretty much already knew it, but in the clip I saw it showed them going around a playing at random bowling alleys or YMCA's or other random local free venues for small groups of people. It essentially showed that it's not just about the money, but also about the love of playing. Not that there is anything wrong with someone just doing it for the money. If someone told me they would pay me to write but I would have to shut down any free blogs that I had, I would instantly say good bye to all my readers here and take the money. I'm that easy. So I don't fault any musician or anyone for doing it because the money and the fame are good. But I think everyone admires and gravitates towards those people that do what they love and love it so much that just doing the activity is reward enough. Yet Jack White isn't like the musician playing the local YMCA in his socks and birkenstocks and telling you that he does it because he loves it. While that guy may love it, chances are he's mainly doing it because his music is crap and no one would ever pay to hear his music. Jack White could, and does have the fame and money. He could only play for sold-out arenas and only play when he's paid. Yet he played these other places for the fun and for the love of it all. Even if you don't like the White Stripes or any of the other "projects" Jack White has done, you have to at least admire him for his love of music and as a musician. I may be misreading the guy and he may be a total dirtbag. You can't entirely judge someone off of a clip in a biased documentary. But the actions seem sincere and it's a snapshot and something that few other musicians with his fame have done.

I couldn't find the exact clip I saw, but here is another clip that shows them playing random free shows throughout the town. So great.




Movies:

I didn't do a movie preview this year. But here are three movies I have seen this summer:

1. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters. Apparently this movie came out a few years ago. When I told my film-major friend Dave that I had seen it and recommended it to him, he responded like I was the last one on the boat and that told me he saw the movie at its premier at Sundance a few years ago. It was a typical experience where you share something with one of your friends in their "expert" field of knowledge thinking that you might be ahead of them or have something to contribute to their field and they shoot you down as being behind or your info being irrelevant. He really wasn't that smug about it.

But the movie is outstanding. My friend let us borrow it and we came home and watched it. We were both tired and Nellie fell asleep before the opening credits finished but I was glued to the TV. Just a really good show. I know you have to sometimes be in a different mood to watch a documentary, but if you ever are, this one is worth watching.



2. Inception: I liked it. Quite a bit. Not more than the Dark Knight. Not that they are at all similar or related, but since they have the same director, people do compare them. I was just blown away by the idea. So simple on its face: dreams within a dream and being able to manipulate them; yet the movie was actually so complex as they took it to so many different levels and created such a fascinating and brilliant story. Really, I'm no comedian and not that great of a writer, so it's frustrating going to a movie and thinking that I could come up with better jokes or a better script or plot even though I don't have any training or experience. Sort of like how my Mom doesn't like going out to eat if she feels like she could make better food than the restaurant. She's a good cook, not a world class chef by any means, but who wants to pay for something when you could do it as good or better? Sure, sometimes you are tired and just want someone else to make the food just like sometimes you just want to turn off your brain at a movie. But if I'm going to pay the ridiculous movie prices and take the time to see the movie, then I expect it to be something better than what I could come up with in a podcast with Dave. Inception was by no means that type of movie. I could never come up with a story like Inception or conceive of presenting the idea the way they did in the movie. It made me think the whole time. Really, really good movie. Not the best movie of the summer though.

3. Toy Story 3: The crown jewel of the summer... and maybe the history of movies. Granted, I am very biased with the Toy Story franchise. I was blown away and absolutely loved the first one. It doesn't help that they are done by Pixar, the company that never mails it in and always makes each film perfect. So each Toy Story installment just got better and better. I'm not sure what I could say about this movie though. It's pure genius and absolutely fantastic. It was the first time that I cried since Nellie and I got married. I'm going to spoil the movie right here. It was at the end of the movie when Andy was going through the cardboard box and giving the toys to the little girl one by one that my eyes started to well up. I tried to suck back the tears by opening my eyes real big and taking a deep breath and blinking a lot. It sort of worked, but when Andy found Woody in the bottom of the box, I was a goner. I didn't know Woody was down there and when Andy saw him I couldn't keep the tears back. They were streaming down my face. I couldn't control it and I couldn't hide it. There was no point in fighting it. I just had to trust that it was too dark for most people to see me and hope that Nellie was crying more than I was. I don't think she was by the way. I don't know how she could have been, not with my constant stream of tears. Just gushing.

But the movie is funny, incredibly clever and brilliant, unique, an excellent story where you can tell they put tons of thought and brainstorming into it, and just leaves you completely happy and satisfied at the end. It's amazing how they did it. For as sad and emotional as I was, I thoroughly enjoyed how it ended. I can't recommend the movie enough. I wish they would make a new installment every five years for the rest of my life. I wouldn't change a single thing in the movie. I just wish I was like Nellie and I could blame all the tears on being pregnant.

Perdador

Last Wednesday to Saturday Nellie was out of town. I'm a big boy and spent many a years as a single man, so I had no problems living the single life for a couple of days. Work pretty much kept me occupied most of the time. On Saturday around 2 p.m. I hit a dead moment. I had just left a birthday party and I couldn't go home because there was an open house going on and it's painfully awkward to sit there on the couch while people walk through your house trying to decide if they want to buy it. Nellie's flight was supposed to arrive in Long Beach in a couple of hours so it would be somewhat pointless to leave the area because I would just have to turn around and come right back. So I decided to kill the time by doing something I had never done before. I decided to go see a movie by myself.

I realize that this isn't that big of a deal, but I had never done it. I realize that I am 29 and not in Jr. High and so going to a movie is about seeing the movie as opposed to being seen seeing the movie. I also realize that I'm married so if I'm alone at movie people wouldn't look at me and think I'm depressed and dateless as I have a life companion. I guess they would probably just think I was depressed and had marital issues.

Anyways, once I was able to overcome my Jr. High image insecurities, I decided that I would just head to the theater and that I would see the first available movie. Fittingly, I arrived at 2:50 and the next movie playing was at 3 p.m. and it was titled "Losers." It was a funny moment, but also a new low in life, walking up to the movie window at 3 p.m. on a sunny Saturday afternoon and saying, "One for Losers, please." Pretty much the opposite of an "I've made it in life" or "I'm accomplishing things and a productive human being" moment.

There were maybe 20 other people in the theater besides me. Which was actually more than I expected. I didn't actually meet any of the people in the theater, but from observing them I didn't get the impression that these people were "the bright spots" of our nations' future. Granted, half of the people in the theater won't be alive for our nations' near future, but still. I do also realize that I was in the theater with these people and thus one of them. Thus I am lumped in with them on any snarky remarks about them being world beaters.

Anyways, on to the movie thoughts:

A long time ago (probably about 2 years) in a movie studio far away (probably Burbank) I imagine there was a conversation that went something like this:

Movie Exec. 1: Hey, did you hear that movie studio B down the street is making an A-Team movie?

Exec 2: An A-Team movie?

E 1: Yes, you know, the A-Team. That group of renegade ex-soldiers that drive around in a cool van and shoot people and do other awesome stuff.

E 2: Oh right. The A-Team. Dang it. Why didn't we think of that? When does the A-Team movie come out?

E 1: Summer 2010.

E 2: Ok. Well, lets throw together a movie about a bunch of soldiers that are overseas carrying out a mission, but things go wrong and they lose their soldier status but they stick together and become a renegade bunch of guys that go out and exact revenge.

E 1: You mean, like the A-Team?

E 2: Exactly. Only we can't call it the A-Team of course.

E 1: What should we call it?

E 2: I don't know. How about "The Losers."

E 1: Um, sure. That doesn't really make any sense, but whatever. We'll get a script done this week.

E 2: Great. We'll release the movie in April 2010, just before the release of the A-Team. In the meantime, get working on the CHiPS movie as well.

Anyways, the movie isn't that bad, but it's so neutral (not bad or good) that there really isn't a need for a review. The main question I had with Losers when I left the theater was why they left it open for a sequel. I don't think I just spoiled it or anything since it seems like most movies nowadays leave themselves open for a sequel. But it seems a little ambitious, especially if your movie is titled Losers. I want to know how many movies have hinted that they would be doing a sequel, but then the movie bombed a sequel was never made. Granted, Losers hasn't exactly bombed, but it definitely hasn't performed well enough to deserve a sequel. Maybe a straight to DVD sequel. But if that's the case, do you really need to leave the first movie open for a sequel? A movie is better if everything is tied up at the end. You can hint that there are other issues that will come up in the next movie, but at least tie up the current issues you have been dealing with for the past 2 hours. Then again, you don't even have hint at something else. You can just "pull a Jaws" and make something up in the second movie that explains why there is a sequel. "Oh, the shark had a monster baby before you blew it up in the first movie and now the baby wants revenge, which is why we are here in the second movie." If Losers did turn out to be successful, they could have just done the same thing. "Oh, turns out the guy that you killed that you thought was the bad guy, wasn't the bad guy. The bad guy is the evil agent at the citizenship bureau that won't allow you guys to get your citizenship back. Looks like it's time for heads to roll and for us to make this sequel."

Anyways, like I said, Losers actually wasn't that bad. Wasn't phenomenal either. Granted, I think expectations always play a huge roll with movies and I didn't have high expectations for the movie. I was going alone to a movie on a sunny Saturday afternoon, I wasn't exactly in a position to have high expectations. I clearly didn't have much going on thus wasn't in a position to say that the movie was boring and wasting my time.

Milli Vanilli

Like most people, I went through a Milli Vanilli phase in high school. I did graduate a decade after they were at the peak of their popularity, but "their" music was so dynamite that once I heard it, I was hooked. I had to do a Milli Vanilli skit in high school and we studied their music and moves to try and mimic what they did. We were imitating the imitators. Before I knew it I had their cassette, CD and a copy of all their music videos and I was hooked on the pure goodness that is Rob and Fab - the Brothers of Soul (their words, not mine). The videos are just unintentional comedy at its best. Two grown men in spandex and blazers with shoulder pads doing hip thrusts together. It's pretty unreal.

Anyways, also like most people, the other day I was doing yard work and suddenly a Milli Vanilli song popped in my head. Before I knew it I kept on hearing/singing over and over in my head: "It's a tragedy for me to see the dream is oooOver, and I never will forget the day we met, girl I'm gonna miss you." So smooth. Along with the song I started thinking about the music video for that song, which is also smooth and of course unreal.

In high school and college, I probably watched this video at least 25-30 times. I remember never really understanding the video and not being able to make any sense out of it. Thinking of the song made me want to watch it again to see if I didn't understand it because of my young age or if the video really was nonsense.

So let's try and figure this thing out:



0:01 The video starts out with Rob or Fab, not sure which one, lets call him Milli climbing out of his ship. Apparently he's a sailor. Which is fitting because although I don't know many sailors, he's pretty much what I think of in my head when I think of a sailor.

0:09 We catch a small glimpse of a blonde lady with sweet 80's hair and the other half of the group, Vanilli, doing some painting. Don't quite know what's going on or what to expect, but whenever you have a sailor, a big haired blonde and a painter, you know there will be drama.

0:19 After the intro you get Milli on the side of his boat and he starts "singing." If this scene doesn't make you laugh or immediately make you gasp and get the retarded tingles, then you just aren't enjoying life.

0:28 So the video proceeds and based upon the black and white video, we can gather that Milli and the blonde were close, maybe, just maybe even lovers. We don't know. But we can tell by the way Milli strokes her arm in the lounge chairs on the beach, that he's into her. We aren't sure if she likes him. She seems like she enjoys his company, but you have to wonder with that tank top. If she really liked him and wanted to impress him, would she wear such a hideous thing? Maybe she's testing his dedication.

0:57 Later, the drama continues as we cut to the blonde and Vanilli and they seem to be discussing some interior decorating or looking at paint colors or something. Not exactly sure but we do know is that there is art being discussed. She's wearing her artistic hat and vest and Vanilli has suspenders on - the true mark of an artist.

1:13 Then we hit the greatest moment of the video. You have Milli, the sailor, sitting next to a barn and while dramatically lowering his hands in frustration he "sings", "I just don't know what I should do-ooo." This was the scene that I kept on seeing over and over in my head. It's pure gold.

1:24 We then get into the chorus where we see Milli again next to the barn and trying really hard to pronounce the words he's "singing" and really accentuating that vibrato. He's of course sad that "the dream", whatever it may be, is over and letting us know he's never going to forget the girl, presumably the blonde.

1:39 Cue the dramatic music and the blonde sneaking up Vanilli as a perfect intro for the best line in probably all of music history: "Like a honey bee, you took the best of me." Surely there are worse lines out there, but couple the line with Milli on the boat and it can't be beat.

2:05 Back at the art studio, it's clear that the blonde is tight with Vanilli. Then there are a couple of quick shots of her maybe lying with a man, it's not really clear and before you know what's going on, she's back on the beach walking with Milli. Was she lying with Vanilli? She's clearly into him too. At least we think so. I guess I'm not even sure that it's two different people. They look so similar. Maybe Milli is both the sailor and the artist and Vanilli just sat this video out.

2:18 The video and drama continues with more beach scenes and another solid gold chorus performance by Milli in front of the barn. He's clearly sad the dream is over.

2:58 Now it gets confusing. Blonde girl gets flowers. As she's reading the card, one of them shows up at the office. I think its Vanilli, but I honestly don't know. We haven't been able to get a good shot of Vanilli at this point so he's hard to recognize. But we know Milli is back at the barn, so it must be Vanilli. Blonde throws the flowers into the air to which Vanilli should have said, "Um, I'm an artist and long stem roses are pretty expensive and way out of my budget. Please don't throw them on the ground like that."

3:14 Cue the sax and the art show scene. Everyone is happy. Vanilli is showing his art. Blonde changed out of the tank top. Things seem good. Until we see Milli in his lonely sweater over in the corner. Poor guy. Not sure how he even knew Vanilli or why he's there. Up until now there was never any indication that they knew each other. The do look alike and are both dating the same girl, but that doesn't guarantee they are acquaintances, let alone to the level of being an art show invitee.

3:50 Anyways, the drama builds as a painting is about to be unveiled. Of course not until we get another shot of Milli at the barn. Always enjoyable.

3:58 Onto the big climax and finale: So the painting is of the blonde of course. She likes it, seems happy, then sees Milli sulking in corner just as the words "it's a tragedy for me to see the dream is over" go on in the background. Presumably, this would lead one to believe that the dream between Milli and the blonde is over because Vanilli has clearly won her over with the amazing painting. Painters always get the babes. Then, there is a quick random shot of the blonde in front of some neon sign. Before you know what's going on, it fades and we are back at the art show where the blonde drops the sheet and walks away. We then get a shot of Milli pulling up the anchor to his boat. He's clearly moving on and setting sail, I guess. We also get a shot of the painting burning. And then the video ends with the girl alone at the end of a pier.

WHAT???

Where to begin?

1. Is there just one blonde or two? There's just one right? And she's playing both of them, right?

2. If she is, why didn't she pick one? Was she so torn between the two of them that she couldn't decide or something? I think any girl would struggle deciding between an artist and a sailor. In one situation you live on a boat and in the other you live off food stamps. Enticing.

3. Why burn the painting? Why not sell it? Money heals heartbreaks.

4. What exactly is "the dream"? Is the dream for the the girl to continue to two-time both of them and be with both of them behind the other's back? If so, then sure, that dream is over. It's also a pretty whacked dream, but to each their own.

If the "dream" is to eventually be with the girl, then why is it over? Isn't she single? She didn't pick either guy, but was torn between the two. I would understand it if Milli was saying the dream is over because the girl chose Vanilli the artist. But she doesn't choose either. Shouldn't Milli turn the boat around and go back after her? Pretend he's walking away and make Vanilli think he's given up, and then sneak back in through the back bay and come up on the other side of the dock and try and win her over. She's back in that enticing tank top and clearly looks bored on the dock. Plus, Vanilli just burned his painting. Seems like a good time to swoop back in.

Anyways, there are clearly many unresolved issues. Unfortunately, Rob died a few years ago and the group, well, they were sort of forced to break up and so we have lost all chance for a sequel to shed some light and answer some of these questions. Just one of the many things where you have to go through life and accept the fact that you'll probably never know the answer.