Thursday, April 15, 2010

Milli Vanilli

Like most people, I went through a Milli Vanilli phase in high school. I did graduate a decade after they were at the peak of their popularity, but "their" music was so dynamite that once I heard it, I was hooked. I had to do a Milli Vanilli skit in high school and we studied their music and moves to try and mimic what they did. We were imitating the imitators. Before I knew it I had their cassette, CD and a copy of all their music videos and I was hooked on the pure goodness that is Rob and Fab - the Brothers of Soul (their words, not mine). The videos are just unintentional comedy at its best. Two grown men in spandex and blazers with shoulder pads doing hip thrusts together. It's pretty unreal.

Anyways, also like most people, the other day I was doing yard work and suddenly a Milli Vanilli song popped in my head. Before I knew it I kept on hearing/singing over and over in my head: "It's a tragedy for me to see the dream is oooOver, and I never will forget the day we met, girl I'm gonna miss you." So smooth. Along with the song I started thinking about the music video for that song, which is also smooth and of course unreal.

In high school and college, I probably watched this video at least 25-30 times. I remember never really understanding the video and not being able to make any sense out of it. Thinking of the song made me want to watch it again to see if I didn't understand it because of my young age or if the video really was nonsense.

So let's try and figure this thing out:



0:01 The video starts out with Rob or Fab, not sure which one, lets call him Milli climbing out of his ship. Apparently he's a sailor. Which is fitting because although I don't know many sailors, he's pretty much what I think of in my head when I think of a sailor.

0:09 We catch a small glimpse of a blonde lady with sweet 80's hair and the other half of the group, Vanilli, doing some painting. Don't quite know what's going on or what to expect, but whenever you have a sailor, a big haired blonde and a painter, you know there will be drama.

0:19 After the intro you get Milli on the side of his boat and he starts "singing." If this scene doesn't make you laugh or immediately make you gasp and get the retarded tingles, then you just aren't enjoying life.

0:28 So the video proceeds and based upon the black and white video, we can gather that Milli and the blonde were close, maybe, just maybe even lovers. We don't know. But we can tell by the way Milli strokes her arm in the lounge chairs on the beach, that he's into her. We aren't sure if she likes him. She seems like she enjoys his company, but you have to wonder with that tank top. If she really liked him and wanted to impress him, would she wear such a hideous thing? Maybe she's testing his dedication.

0:57 Later, the drama continues as we cut to the blonde and Vanilli and they seem to be discussing some interior decorating or looking at paint colors or something. Not exactly sure but we do know is that there is art being discussed. She's wearing her artistic hat and vest and Vanilli has suspenders on - the true mark of an artist.

1:13 Then we hit the greatest moment of the video. You have Milli, the sailor, sitting next to a barn and while dramatically lowering his hands in frustration he "sings", "I just don't know what I should do-ooo." This was the scene that I kept on seeing over and over in my head. It's pure gold.

1:24 We then get into the chorus where we see Milli again next to the barn and trying really hard to pronounce the words he's "singing" and really accentuating that vibrato. He's of course sad that "the dream", whatever it may be, is over and letting us know he's never going to forget the girl, presumably the blonde.

1:39 Cue the dramatic music and the blonde sneaking up Vanilli as a perfect intro for the best line in probably all of music history: "Like a honey bee, you took the best of me." Surely there are worse lines out there, but couple the line with Milli on the boat and it can't be beat.

2:05 Back at the art studio, it's clear that the blonde is tight with Vanilli. Then there are a couple of quick shots of her maybe lying with a man, it's not really clear and before you know what's going on, she's back on the beach walking with Milli. Was she lying with Vanilli? She's clearly into him too. At least we think so. I guess I'm not even sure that it's two different people. They look so similar. Maybe Milli is both the sailor and the artist and Vanilli just sat this video out.

2:18 The video and drama continues with more beach scenes and another solid gold chorus performance by Milli in front of the barn. He's clearly sad the dream is over.

2:58 Now it gets confusing. Blonde girl gets flowers. As she's reading the card, one of them shows up at the office. I think its Vanilli, but I honestly don't know. We haven't been able to get a good shot of Vanilli at this point so he's hard to recognize. But we know Milli is back at the barn, so it must be Vanilli. Blonde throws the flowers into the air to which Vanilli should have said, "Um, I'm an artist and long stem roses are pretty expensive and way out of my budget. Please don't throw them on the ground like that."

3:14 Cue the sax and the art show scene. Everyone is happy. Vanilli is showing his art. Blonde changed out of the tank top. Things seem good. Until we see Milli in his lonely sweater over in the corner. Poor guy. Not sure how he even knew Vanilli or why he's there. Up until now there was never any indication that they knew each other. The do look alike and are both dating the same girl, but that doesn't guarantee they are acquaintances, let alone to the level of being an art show invitee.

3:50 Anyways, the drama builds as a painting is about to be unveiled. Of course not until we get another shot of Milli at the barn. Always enjoyable.

3:58 Onto the big climax and finale: So the painting is of the blonde of course. She likes it, seems happy, then sees Milli sulking in corner just as the words "it's a tragedy for me to see the dream is over" go on in the background. Presumably, this would lead one to believe that the dream between Milli and the blonde is over because Vanilli has clearly won her over with the amazing painting. Painters always get the babes. Then, there is a quick random shot of the blonde in front of some neon sign. Before you know what's going on, it fades and we are back at the art show where the blonde drops the sheet and walks away. We then get a shot of Milli pulling up the anchor to his boat. He's clearly moving on and setting sail, I guess. We also get a shot of the painting burning. And then the video ends with the girl alone at the end of a pier.

WHAT???

Where to begin?

1. Is there just one blonde or two? There's just one right? And she's playing both of them, right?

2. If she is, why didn't she pick one? Was she so torn between the two of them that she couldn't decide or something? I think any girl would struggle deciding between an artist and a sailor. In one situation you live on a boat and in the other you live off food stamps. Enticing.

3. Why burn the painting? Why not sell it? Money heals heartbreaks.

4. What exactly is "the dream"? Is the dream for the the girl to continue to two-time both of them and be with both of them behind the other's back? If so, then sure, that dream is over. It's also a pretty whacked dream, but to each their own.

If the "dream" is to eventually be with the girl, then why is it over? Isn't she single? She didn't pick either guy, but was torn between the two. I would understand it if Milli was saying the dream is over because the girl chose Vanilli the artist. But she doesn't choose either. Shouldn't Milli turn the boat around and go back after her? Pretend he's walking away and make Vanilli think he's given up, and then sneak back in through the back bay and come up on the other side of the dock and try and win her over. She's back in that enticing tank top and clearly looks bored on the dock. Plus, Vanilli just burned his painting. Seems like a good time to swoop back in.

Anyways, there are clearly many unresolved issues. Unfortunately, Rob died a few years ago and the group, well, they were sort of forced to break up and so we have lost all chance for a sequel to shed some light and answer some of these questions. Just one of the many things where you have to go through life and accept the fact that you'll probably never know the answer.